Stōk: Coffee Shots in Creamer Tubs

stok.jpg

“Stōk” are non-dairy coffee products encased in the familiar creamer cups, each of which adds an additional 40 milligrams of caffeine to your morning wakefulness slurry. They’re available in two varieties: “Black Shot,” which is presumably just regular coffee-flavoring; and “Sweet Shot,” which is, you know, sweet.

While caffeine content in coffee will vary depending on brewing technique, a typical shot of espresso has 100mg of caffeine, making Stōk’s “Limit 2/day” warning somewhat unnecessary, if wise in view of future lawsuits.

While you can order Stōk online (200 for $40)I think the real market for these lie in the convenience store, where reportedly they are starting to appear next to traditional creamers and other coffee adulterants for free—at least until unscrupulous caffeine addicts start swiping handfuls at a time. Why pay ridiculous prices for double-strength coffee drinks at coffee shops* when you can just dose up for the price of a small cup at the gas station?

Catalog Page [StokExpress.com]

* Coffee houses that serve quality coffee excepted.

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11 Responses to Stōk: Coffee Shots in Creamer Tubs

  1. Tubman says:

    Would these be the same stores that sell reverberating carbonizers with mutate capacity?

  2. scaught says:

    Not much about the presentation makes me think it’s going to be delicious…

  3. Anonymous says:

    A convenience store on my way to work has ‘em. I didn’t notice much effect, but then I drink a LOT of coffee already.

    Curious, I tried tasting the last drop, right out of the little cup. Is it ever foul! I don’t notice a nasty taste in the coffee, though. What does that say about this store’s coffee?

  4. Joel Johnson says:

    Aww, I dunno, Scaught. I’m sure they taste horrible, but I thought the font choice and graphics looked surprisingly nice. Understated, even, especially for a caffeine booster.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I put 3 of them in my medium coffee at the convenience store only after asking the clerk what they were. He told me that they were new and free, just like the other creamers! Free?! Are you kidding me?! It advertises that it’s like a shot of espresso, so why is it free?! Why would I buy an expensive coffee drink when I can get this for free? I swear, I’m stoked, just like the label. PS, it’s hours later and I’m really wired….FREE?!

  6. Anonymous says:

    They have these available (for free) at my local 7-11, and I enjoy them greatly. But why is this posted under ‘gadgets’?

  7. Gnomar says:

    yeah, they have these free at the 7-11 down the street from my house. (in north portland, oregon.) definitely a cheap way to get the morning going right. now i can buy a small coffee instead of a large. haven’t resorted to stealing them. yet…

  8. Halloween Jack says:

    Caffeine’s bitter, so I’m not surprised that these are as well. Still, they’re probably not a horrible substitute for those caffeine pills that they sell at the register of most convenience stores. I’m still waiting for something that I can jack directly into my carotid, a la the Jem’Hadar.

  9. Tubman says:

    @#3: Pocket Coffee is made by Ferrero, best known for producing Ferrero Rocher and Kinder eggs.

    On a considerable tangent, I was told by a guy at Ferrero that it’s illegal to sell Kinder eggs in the US due to some law from the ’20s which outlaws candy from containing non-candy items. So do Easter eggs in the US have nothing inside them other than more candy?

    • Joel Johnson says:

      Tubman: Easter eggs in the U.S. are either 1) boiled, painted chicken eggs that no one actually eats; 2) plastic eggs that are filled with wrapped candy.

      So yeah, no Kinder eggs in the U.S.! It’s a choking hazard, you see. Of course, if you’re clever, they’re trivially easy to find in New York, if you know what stores to visit.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Something like this got me through high school in Ramstein, Germany – Pocket Coffee. Think cherry cordials with a quarter-shot of espresso in place of booze and you’ve got the right idea. I think Nestle made them, but I might be wrong.

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