Leaked Verizon "Can You Hear Me Now?" Style Book is Hilarious

My friends at Consumerist have uncovered the Verizon style/branding guidelines for the "Can You Hear Me Now? Good!" character and they're a trove of unintentional brainwashed humor:

Test man is:

25-35 years old
Entertaining
The embodiment of Verizon Wireless employees
Relentless in his mission
Friendly
Every day guy
A bit quirky
A little obsessive and compulsive
Likeable character
Appealing to all ethnicities

Test Man is not:

Annoying
Goofy
Easily distracted
Aloof
Stupid
Too "pretty"

Verizon's Style Book For Deploying "Can You Hear Me Now" Guy [Consumerist]

[#1 posted by strider_mt2k , September 20, 2007 1:21 PM]

Can you profile me now?

[#2 posted by jakze , September 20, 2007 1:36 PM]

Many years ago someone sent me a website where a designer had written his own personal brand guidelines. It was detailed and clever, things like "Joe's yellow stocking cap is an integral element of his brand identity. Joe should never be seen without aforementioned cap" and "Joe's beard should never be less than x inches long, not to exceed 2x inches". Everyone in our design studio had a hearty laugh. How eerily prescient the guy must have been...

[#3 posted by YTrozS , September 20, 2007 1:38 PM]

Admit it, this is the profile of every woman's perfect boyfriend.

[#4 posted by jwz , September 20, 2007 1:53 PM]

They left out "must look like Cory"!

[#5 posted by Tricon , September 21, 2007 8:10 AM]

The profile of every woman's perfect boyfriend includes "embodiment of Verizon Wireless employees"? Women sure are strange.

[#6 posted by Anonymous , September 22, 2007 6:32 PM]

Wow, I must be hypersensitive because upon the first viewing of the Can You Hear Me Now campaign, I knew I was in for a long phase of annoying ad hell. He may not be speaking so much anymore, but just by association and/or his presence, this guy -- each ad -- is annoying. STOP'EM ALL B4 I... arrrrrrrgh, the noise, the noise. I can fuxcking hear you, okay. I get it, you have no friends thus your network follows you as your surrogate gang of buddies. arrrgh, the noise, the noise.... please stop.