One of the only highlights of the five or six minutes I spent watching the horrible American Inventor reality contest was watching George Foreman, as one of the show’s judges, give equitable plaudits to almost every horrible idea trotted up on the stage. Despite “creating” the George Foreman grill, it was clear the man couldn’t smell a successful design if it socked him in the nose.
Now in a bizarre follow-up to the massively successful George Foreman model, former heavyweight boxing champ Evander Holyfield will be shilling an electric grill of his own, tantalizingly named the “Evander Holyfield Real Deal Grill.” Even Holyfield isn’t quite sure what makes his CriTran Corp.-produced grill so special:
“I’ve got a George Foreman grill. It’s a good grill,” Holyfield, 44, told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. “But don’t you think the latest grill is supposed to be the best grill?”
My cast-iron skillet says—I’m so sorry for this—talk to the pan.*
Holyfield Takes on Foreman Grill [AP/Google via Engadget]
Would also accept “Kiss the pan. Pan kisses you.” or “These scientists left the space program to devote their lives to creating pans.”
Look up! Look down! Now look at Mr. Frying Pan!
“Oh Nancy, the SuperPan is not magical, it WILL burn you!”
“Oh Nancy, you cannot fly. Only British people can fly. You shouldn’t try to fly and you shouldn’t listen to British people.”
Fantastic.
Shh, Nancy, shh. He’s gone now. Oh Nancy.
I also appreciate the UHF reference in the comments section.
“Battle of the Ages” – the rematch!
http://www.eastsideboxing.com/news.php?p=10680&more=1
What about the Hulk Hogan Ultimate Grill? http://www.hulkhogangrill.com/
Won’t be long until Mike Tyson releases one too.
[insert ear-biting joke here]
My cast iron gives your cast iron an “Amen! Tell it!”
Some years ago (seven, to be roughly exact), we offered this article as part of a larger project of creating ah, um, cubic zirconium version of a better -known humor site (details can be found elsewhere on the site). Holyfield being the first is pure serendipity. But if De la Hoya comes out with steamer, we intend to initiate legal action.
http://www.mcsweeneys.org/lists/utensils.htm