The Oakley Thump was never an awful idea—stashing an MP3 player in a set of sunglasses makes some sense. They’re already on your head, right next to your ears… But they’ve an obvious downside, too: you have to have your sunglasses on any time you want to listen to music. That alone should be enough to convince Oakley to price them as a niche oddity, perfect for landscapers and vampire hunters.
But they’re still selling them for ridiculous prices! The new “Split Thump,” which isn’t quite out yet, is $400 for a 2GB player. Since sunglasses are basically disposable goods and should never be sold for more than $20—even sunglasses manufactured from “O Matter” and “Plutonite” with “High Definition Optics”—that puts the MP3 player at around $380 by my estimation. And a 2GB MP3 player is worth about, oh… $50 these days (and that’s with a strong tailwind.)
On the upside, these Thumps don’t look quite as embarrassing as the previous models. That’s something.