iPhone Ownership Does Not Bestow Meteorology Degree
From Patrick Smith's hilarious (if apochryphal) account of a recent takedown of a snotty iPhone owner by an airline captain, part of a larger piece talking about how ridiculous a recent iPhone commercial was.
Apparently, it's already happening. On one of the frequent-flier blogs, an airline pilot writes that only moments after informing his passengers of a weather-related ground hold affecting their flight to Memphis, Tenn., he and his captain received a call from one of the flight attendants. Seems an iPhone-wielding customer in the back had a challenge. "Some guy with an iPhone says the weather is good," the flight attendant says, "and wants to know what the real reason is for the delay. Is something wrong with the plane?"I like that, "real reason." The implication, as always, is that the carrier is lying or otherwise withholding some critical information. There must be some dangerous malfunction they're not telling us about. After all, "the weather is good," so obviously there's no reason we can't depart immediately.
Reportedly, the captain responded with a public address announcement that was sharp enough to elicit audible laughter from the cabin.
"If the passenger with the iPhone would be kind enough," he began, "to use it to check the weather at our alternate airport, then calculate our revised fuel burn due to being rerouted, then call our dispatcher to arrange our amended release, then make a call to the nearest traffic control center to arrange a new slot time (among all the other aircraft carrying passengers with iPhones), we'll then be more than happy to depart. Please ring your call button to advise the flight attendant and your fellow passengers when you deem it ready and responsible for this multimillion-dollar aircraft and its 84 passengers to safely leave."
Ask the pilot [Salon.com]
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Yes, that's funny. On the other hand, the assumption "that the carrier is lying or otherwise withholding some critical information" doesn't seem like a bad one in general. I sense pro-pilot bias.
A colleague worked on a WAP site for a major US airline. His application referenced whatever database held the actual reason for delays rather than the sanitized version that the public was usually given by crew members.
The airline quickly found that this led to situations in which a passenger would inform those around him of the fact that his phone claimed that the real reason for the delay was not what they were being told. Even more annoying to the crew, the passenger would announce the actual duration of the delay, which would often be several times what the crew had announced.
Interestingly the airline had no plans to change the application. It expected crew members to be honest.
The take home message for me was that the airline admitted to this developer that the crew regularly lies about the reason for and duration of delays in order to keep passengers calm.
Isn't the person in that crappy commercial a member of the flight crew (pilot) anyway who then talks to the tower? There is a notable difference between this and some annoying passenger chiming in.
Also, down with Apple and the iPhone.
Down with your fayce lizardman. Long live apple knowitalls... if only for the comedic value. And how can you not like Apples? EAT MORE FRUIT!!
Patrick Smith is absolutely my favourite thing about Salon. Happily, an analogue of this ad has not yet made its way to this side of the Atlantic (our Apple ads are similar to yours but are recorded with English actors) - here's hoping it never does.
With his air-traffic control link, banks of readouts and equipment, and big fancy plane to fly, I'm sure the pilot wanted his moment of snarky glory after being questioned by some anonymous geek with a shiny new gadget.
But I think the iPhone guy was entirely justified. I've been lied to enough about airplane problems and delays – and heard enough horror stories from friends - that asking what the non-passenger-coddling reason for a delay is a good honest question. An answer like,"It rained earlier, causing delays which built up over the course of the day, and now our destination's backed up even though the weather's nice now," would make me feel like the airline I chose treats me like an adult.
@ Benjamin
Point taken - having apple and its fanboys around is worth it for the comedic fodder they provide but every now and then you have to troll them a little with a jab. And btw, I love apples - every time I eat one I imagine I am devouring a portion of Jobs soul
@ Gobo
It will take a lot more than simply being forthright and more informative about delays to repair the damage the airlines have done to their credibility - at least for me.
Well seasoned travelers do have access to a variety of tools to get more accurate ASDI information such as flightaware.com. But seasoned travelers tend to know better than to make complete arse's of themselves, which on the other hand, seems to be a degree conferred upon Apple owners.
On the other hand the pilot's reply is a heavy handed takedown performed by a threatened authority figure.
The lesson is:
a. There are ways to get better info on flight delays .
b. It's not going to change the delay one whit, but it will allow you to better plan and compensate.
I can't wait to buy an iPhone for Christmas.. In my opinion it's the best phone ever made :D
But iPhone isn't just wonderful things... Greenpeace made some scientific tests and found out that iPhone contains hazardous chemicals... Here is the video: weshow.com/us/p/22543/greenpeace_unveals_iphones_hazardous_chemicals
Unbelievable right? Steve should do something asap!
Patrick Smith's column is fantastic reading - it almost makes up for Joan Walsh's column. Seriously, it's an excellent window for any regular air traveler.
~
And Random John, I think you're making it up. Details, please.
MB,
I spent 8 years as a consultant in IBM Global Sevices, most of that in the wireless practice. One of my co-workers in the practice did the WAP site for Delta. He did a post-mortem at a get together we had in San Diego in 2000 or early 2001 during which he related the above information. That enough detail for you?
Cracked has heard you, and mocked accordingly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SIRtOkUgww