Astone "Sit N Joy" Feels Few Emotions Humans Can Comprehend

Born in an effusion of murky company names like a carapaceod monster spraying from a foreign pleural womb, the Astone "Sit N Joy" inflatable massage chair—distributed by Axpertz, "Your Online Shopping Experts!!!"—is a ribbed chaise longue, each hump rattled meekly by four battery-powered vibrators. But that's not all! The Sit N Joy also includes built-in stereo speakers, the better to enjoy the sounds piped from the water-proof MP3 player cubby while sipping a drink stashed in the cup holder.

Seriously, relax. Let the warm air waft over your damp legs, as the Sit N Joy surrounds you in its squeaky embrace, its four separate air bladders keeping you perched safely above the water, not sinking slowly to the bottom of the pool in a venomous fog, its ovipositor rootering against the ridged sides of your trachea.

Catalog Page [Axpertz.com via Gizmodo]

[#1 posted by mujadaddy , December 3, 2007 12:21 PM]

Did I miss the memo that David Icke's dreams all came true?

[#2 posted by GabeH , December 4, 2007 6:50 AM]

Joel, I agree with you. This looks like an H.R. Giger creation grown fat on cheeseburgers and filtered through the lens of a mediocre industrial design student's brain.

[#3 posted by Angstrom , December 4, 2007 7:16 AM]

Oh my,
isn't this a story by Paul Di Filippo?

Bleb anyone?

http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/originals/originals_archive/difilippo3/difilippo31.html

[#4 posted by wildweasel , December 4, 2007 8:47 AM]

Is it just me, or are Joel's posts getting more...esoteric?

[#5 posted by doggo , December 5, 2007 10:19 AM]

Alright, who slipped the brown acid into Joel's coffee?

[#6 posted by misplacedmodifier , December 5, 2007 1:38 PM]

Hell, no, they're getting more hilarious. Excellent use of the word "ovipositor", Joel. This contraption indeed would appear to posit ova in our unsuspecting recumbent asses.