Wonder Sauna Hot Pants

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Sometimes I wonder: When did American consumer culture reach the point of no return? (Most commonly I wonder this while nibbling a single chip from a family-sized bag of Doritos, tossing the remainder into an incinerator, since I only fill my bodily temple with the most unsullied "chosen" chips.)

I now have an answer: sometime in the '70s, when the Wonder Sauna Hot Pants were first offered to the public.

(Thanks, Burgletime!)


Discussion

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See that man's expression? He's in pain. Not 'skin is peeling from my most intimate areas' pain but he will be soon.

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What is the AAU/USA, and why should I care that they Approved this torture device?

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#3 posted by Anonymous , December 5, 2007 7:01 AM

Python alert: The product is so old that Monty Python did a sketch of actors in various movies doing their roles in the sauna pants....

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@#1, Kit10 in Dublin: That's not pain, it's death. Both of them wear the tell-tale rictus grin that comes from hasty embalming.

@#1, Wil9000: The AAU is the Amateur Athletic Union, and they were important in the 1970s because they got to decide who qualified as an amateur, and hence who could go to the Olympics. Presumably a large wad of cash helped them overcome any qualms they might have had about plastering their logo on the box and implying that use of such stylish apparel was no bar to Olympic qualification.

My view is that the product would have been more successful if the manufacturers had approached a couple of ass doctors for quotes to stick on the box and re-branded the pants as a hemorrhoid treatment.

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Are these still-suit shorts for summers on Arakkis?

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I think that these things were created for the prevention of sexcrime.

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I don't know - they could be useful for winter sports practitioners who want to avoid bruised bums. Or who want to give everyone else on the slopes a good laugh.

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I think they're a re-purposed product. They were originally marketed for games of home Ro-Sham-Bo, until the groin injury costs started to rival the lawn darts fiasco.

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#9 posted by Anonymous , December 5, 2007 10:07 AM

I don't know about sauna pants, but I do know "sauna belts" are still sold here in Pakistan.
They cover the tummy and apparently burn away fat!

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Hmm..."Slenderize exactly where you want."

It seems they claim these miracle torture pants make everything they cover smaller. The male "model" is probably thinking "If these work my penis is growing smaller every minute..." Well, that and if the $10 modeling fee will be worth the lifetime of humiliation...

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That dude has a major case of cameltoe!

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anything that claims to "wake up your body" and is not entirely made of hot coffee makes me nervous.

#5 - they are definitely Arrakan still shorts.

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they still sell these. i saw them at the 'as seen on tv' store at the mall a few years ago and wanted to buy them for everyone i knew for christmas.

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I actually found a pair of these at a yard sale -- box and all so I scooped them up. Seeing this post made me suddenly realize that I have no idea where my wonder sauna hot pants went to!!!! DRAT!!!!

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I actually found a pair of these at a yard sale -- box and all so I scooped them up. Seeing this post made me suddenly realize that I have no idea where my wonder sauna hot pants went to!!!! DRAT!!!!

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I once found a pair of these at a yard sale, box and all! Seeing this post made me suddenly realize that I have no idea where my wonder sauna hot pants are! THEY'RE MISSING! DRAT!!!!

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I'd like to have a look at his sperm count (not from too close though !)

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"This new series of 'Trim-Jeans Theatre Presents' will enable you to enjoy the poetry of T. S. Eliot whilst losing unsightly trouser bulge."

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#20 posted by Anonymous , December 7, 2007 2:15 PM

Inflatable culottes, you say? I'll buy one for me and the missus....

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#21 posted by Anonymous , December 15, 2007 5:23 AM

The Michelin Man want his underwear back!!!

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#22 posted by Anonymous , December 26, 2007 7:32 AM

I wear these pants. Please dont' make fun of them. They have been a big help in my quest to lose 100 lbs!

Please pray for me as I will pray for you.

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#23 posted by Anonymous , February 4, 2008 4:16 PM

I usually wear this when it's business time, and you know what happens when it's business time. Aw yeah.

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#24 posted by Anonymous , March 11, 2008 9:02 PM

#11 posted by ArtDecoAutomaton , December 5, 2007 12:37 PM


LMFAO

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#25 posted by Anonymous , March 2, 2009 2:50 PM

how to boil your 'boys' in one easy step!!!

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