No Console for Old Men

console-atari.jpg

Todd Levin, chronicling every videogame console he has known, on the Atari 2600:

The joystick’s distinct shape provided me with hours of sophisticated entertainment, especially as I blindly turned the corner of sexual awareness. When Beth Rubenstein came over to “play Atari” in our renovated basement, our gaming would always quickly deteriorate into marathon sessions of hard, closed-mouth kissing–because tongue kissing was disgusting–followed by hilarious hijinks such as me chasing Beth around the weight bench with the joystick tucked between my legs, like Jane Gumb trapped in the world of Tron.

I’m not sure who would have been more disappointed to discover that last fact: my parents, who tried their best not to raise a pervert; or my brother and sister, who had no idea they were playing Activision’s Pitfall with my surrogate boner.

A Very Weird and Blocky Future [TheMorningNews.org via Kottke]

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6 Responses to No Console for Old Men

  1. Halloween Jack says:

    Funny… Beth Rubinstein let me kiss her open-mouth. Actually, she let me do just about anything.

  2. Nelson.C says:

    Better than your mother.

  3. everyplace says:

    Illustration by Jennifer Daniel.

  4. globule23 says:

    I dont think I am allowed to post about what gets stuck in the vertical seams of a 2600 stick. PREVERTS UNTIE!!! wait. never mind.

  5. theturtle says:

    How was she, man?

  6. ridestowe says:

    haha, i love the title of the article

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