The “HawkEye” is designed to be used by police to test for dilation of the pupil, magnifying the eyes of the perp and recording them for use in court. The Standard Field Sobriety Test requires an officer to estimate pupil size, but the HawkEye overlays a pupil scale chart over the recorded eyes for handy reference.
My pupils don’t dilate when I’m drunk, you might think. And you’re right. The HawkEye isn’t testing for alcohol, but for hallucinogens, many of which cause the eyes to go black with the festering blood of consumed children. Including, according to the site, marijuana.
(The drug war is a travesty, but still, you know, don’t drive high. Seriously. It can wait.)
If you’re high right now, though, here’s a Make Your Own Joke assignment: The inventor’s name is “Dick Studdard.”