Some friends and I were talking about how horrible the art has always been from hardware companies, specifically the Asian firms who, despite having millions of dollars in sales, still seem to hire artists from middle schools obsessed with warrior women, fantasy animals, and monster trucks.
So I want to build a gallery of the truly horrible examples of the form. Two things, specifically: the really wretched box art above; the hilariously ugly software utilities that ship with the hardware, like the infamous overclocking widgets with no antialiasing shaped like spaceships and shuriken. If we can get enough stuff put together over the weekend I’ll put up the whole gallery on Monday.
To add your contribution, either drop a link in the comments or add it directly to our general Flickr pool. I’d appreciate the help. Also, there’s no era too old. Bad designs from the ’70s and ’80s are fair game, too.
Solid State Capacitors? It MUST be good! I wonder what they were trying to say with that little gem.
http://www.abit-usa.com/images/packagebox/large_images/in9-32x-max_box_500.jpg
http://www.uabit.com/images/flash/IN9SLI.swf
http://img218.imageshack.us/img218/6408/msicorecenterdl8.jpg
http://hardwarelogic.com/articles/reviews/motherboards/eVGA_680i/Box.jpg
http://www.techwarelabs.com/reviews/motherboard/fic_k8-800t/boxTN.JPG
http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/4812/fmars01qu7.jpg
http://img201.imageshack.us/img201/5465/razergp6.jpg
#5, sorry, but ive gotta throw a bone to the FIC K8-800T artists… that spaceship is nine kinds of sweet!
Actually, “Solid State Capacitors” isn’t marketing gibberish at all, but notes that the motherboard doesn’t use electrolytic caps. If you’ve ever had a motherboard die due to exploded/leaky/bad caps then you’ll know it’s a good thing.
I stand corrected. I never have had a motherboard die from bad caps, but I’ve seen (and deliberately caused) a few of them fail in a non-passive mannder
Finally, our voice is here!
I’ve always wondered why companies invest any time and energy at all into those box designs, especially when they all turn out so horribly. I buy boards based on brand-name reliability, but mostly the specs of the product. Just list the specs on the boxes and move along.
The worst offenders, IMHO, are video card boxen, and especially products with ATI chipsets, although nVidia is certainly not immumme.
My personal favourite, though? http://www.newegg.com/Product/ShowImage.aspx?CurImage=11-119-068-20.jpg&Image=11-119-068-15.jpg%2c11-119-068-03.jpg%2c11-119-068-17.jpg%2c11-119-068-06.jpg%2c11-119-068-04.jpg%2c11-119-068-05.jpg%2c11-119-068-11.jpg%2c11-119-068-18.jpg%2c11-119-068-13.jpg%2c11-119-068-12.jpg%2c11-119-068-19.jpg%2c11-119-068-20.jpg&S7ImageFlag=0&Depa=0&Description=COOLER+MASTER+Centurion+5+CAC-T05-UW+Black+Computer+Case
I’m not exactly sure how you arm a case with “Honor,” but I joke around with friends about service calls back to Cooler Master, complaining about the “honor” on the case being damaged or whatnot. It’s an endless well of mockage. Good times.
By the way, here’s my other request: Incredily Bad Art of Video Conversion softwares
Maybe it’s just me, but if you think of it in terms of perspective, it’s kinda cool that these boxes are so fugly.
To look at 4th of July fireworks labels? Man, now that’s some embarrassing design-work. But what are they supposed to show? Just multi-colored lines indicating sparks?
Hardware looks boring. Dinosaurs and Space Aliens are cool. Embrace the fug.
(But there’s no excuse for the eye-stabbing heads-up displays.)
absolutely brilliant idea. I used to save the boxes of my various computer hardware but just chucked a whole lot of it recently. There were some truly horrific stuff in it too. I’ll keep an eye open.
Some stinkers but most are just boring:
http://thetechzone.com/nephp/uploads/320/box.jpg
http://www.cdrinfo.com/Sections/Articles/Sources/Asus_EAX1300PRO/Images/card/Box.jpg
http://www.geek.com/xyzimages/stories/reviewimages/powercolor_x1300/x1300_009.jpg
http://www.ixbt.com/video/images/giga-r8500/giga-r8500-box.jpg
http://www.skenegroup.net/fi/images/winfast_a6600gttdh/leadtek_1.jpg
http://www.futurelooks.com/uploads/332/box.JPG
http://www.cluboverclocker.com/reviews/video/visiontek/xtasy_x800xt/box.jpg
http://www.compucityco.com/ASUSRADEON9600SE.jpg
http://www.pchardware.co.uk/siteimages/dfi1box.jpg
http://www.ixbt.com/video2/images/nv41-2/asus-6800pcie-box.jpg
http://www.hardcoreware.net/image.php?src=2440&ts=1076666529
http://www.bjorn3d.com/Material/Images/337_box_front.jpg
Current box art isn’t nearly as bad as the period from approx. ’98 to ’04….a period that should be deemed as “the golden age” of bad game hardware box art. Again, I’ll keep an eye peeled for some classics.
This story is way more entertaining than I originally thought it would be.
Great stuff folks!
http://www.maxitmag.com/images/stories/reviews/asus/asus-x1900-box.jpg
biostar 7600gs vid card funky chick with car: http://www.dragonsteelmods.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1052&Itemid=38&limit=1&limitstart=1
All of the Scythe products have rather interesting artwork as well, rather cool actually:
Ninja: http://www.dragonsteelmods.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=5649&Itemid=38&limit=1&limitstart=1
Andy Smaurai: http://www.dragonsteelmods.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=5656&Itemid=38&limit=1&limitstart=1
of ocurse if you want to go with weird artwork how about weird names of products? like the Evercool Buffalo CPU Cooler? What do Buffalos have to do with CPU Cooling? but it’s called the Buffalo but it has pictures of Bulls on the box and heatsink itself whish are pretty bad as well:
http://www.dragonsteelmods.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=5658&Itemid=38&limit=1&limitstart=1
It took some digging, but I finally found it: The box for an Abit BP6 motherboard.
Though you can’t tell from this picture, the text under Abit says “Your reliable partner.”
http://www.xbitlabs.com/images/mainboards/abit-bp6/bp6-1.jpg
Ha, the copy goes by so fast in #3 that I misread it as “Fatally Overclocked!” the first time around.
Sadly, this design aesthetic (?) isn’t limited to overclocking circles. For your consideration:
http://www.intego.com/virusbarrier/zoom.asp?screen=vbX5_count_big.png
Seriously Intego, WTF?
I thought we were talking about all that nasty graphic-card hardware art.