Great Moments in Gygax: Random Harlot Encounter Table

random_harlot_table.jpg

From the first-edition Dungeon Master’s Guide. I’ve been trying to roll 66-75 my whole life. (Thanks, Bald Face Liar!)

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10 Responses to Great Moments in Gygax: Random Harlot Encounter Table

  1. Stefan Jones says:

    #8: A wench is a serving woman; she has a job other than providing sexual services. For a tart, that’s her career.

  2. historyman68 says:

    In elementary school, some boys got in trouble for talking about buying a “hooker” in D&D. Some of the girls heard them and complained about sexism and the like.

    I don’t remember how it ended, but the upshot was that the boys maintained that a “hooker” was some sort of hooked weapon and they were not trafficking in sex. The girls did not believe them but had no way of proving otherwise.

    We (I did not participate) were all like, 12. Jeesh.

  3. jessek says:

    this just makes me think of the Dead Alewives sketch with the guy in the kitchen yelling “If there’s girls there, I wanna do them!”

  4. griffjon says:

    #4 : perhaps you should check out http://www.acc.umu.se/~stradh/dnd/mirror/Assorted/ADnD_netbook_of_sex.html

    (rolling for geekcheck … FAIL)

  5. Stefan Jones says:

    What’s the saving throw vs. venereal maladies?

  6. Fred Bush says:

    I used to sell used RPG items on eBay, and whenever I listed a 1st edition DMG, I would include that table in the writeup.

    Always sold ‘em :-)

  7. technos says:

    The first time any DM of mine included this table, he hit his dice, flipped a few pages, and stared intently at the page for a few seconds.

    “What’s wrong, Dean?”
    “Nothing, nothing. Sec.”

    Fifteen seconds go by.

    “Aaaaannndd?”
    “Uh..”
    “Are we all dead or something?”

    Pause. Flipping through the book, his notes..

    “Guys. It says ‘Saucy tart’. What the hell is that? It’s supposed to be some kind of demon, right?”

  8. Sxe says:

    Some fine, fine synonyms in that left-hand column there.

  9. Anonymous says:

    I’d like to know exactly how one distinguishes a saucy tart from a wanton wench. Is there some kind of Audubon field guide out there or something?

    –dcc

  10. Anonymous says:

    “…and so forth”.

    That cracks me up.

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