Hand-powered Groom Mate Platinum XL nose & ear hair trimmer

The 'Groom Mate Platinum XL Nose and Ear Hair Trimmer' is not, sadly, made of platinum. But it's still clad in a affirmingly masculine stainless steel, complete with prominent screw and gnarled grips. That means it's not all that expensive, either, at just $20, shipped. Not as manly as looping your nose hairs around a doorknob then telling your significant other that you'd like to break up, but what is? It's also tiny — just 2.6-inches long. Hopefully the TSA will understand it's not a bullet. No batteries included, because it doesn't use them. Instead, the clippers operate by rotating the bottom of the shaft. Catalog Page [Amazon via Shaving Stuff]
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11 Responses to Hand-powered Groom Mate Platinum XL nose & ear hair trimmer

  1. License Farm says:

    Am I the only one to whom this resembles nothing so much as a lightsaber’s hilt? That might be the happy medium to Brownlee’s need for a flamethrower.

  2. jennfrank says:

    A coworker once pulled me into Walgreens, trying to decide between this ‘personal groomer’ or that one. I wasn’t much help. When we walked to his apartment he, not really in a teasing way, offered to let me use it next. I recoiled. Also, it didn’t seem like it would fit in my nostril.

    I mentioned it once at work, and he denied it.

  3. jennfrank says:

    P.S. I think what Mr Brownlee is getting at is, if this trimmer doesn’t use electricity, chances are it also does the old catch-and-tug (see also). Nothing more painful.

  4. Anonymous says:

    hey…i bought one of these. f—-g awesome gadget dudes. i threw my piece of shit battery operated trimmers in the can.

  5. Knife Knut says:

    I suggest a big ol’ bowie!

  6. John Brownlee says:

    Actually, Jenn, I’m just saying that for MY nose hairs, a gas-powered chainsaw is the tool of minimum requirement. Flamethrowers also work, but exacerbate my hayfever.

  7. Outtacontext says:

    You have such a nice way with words. Ouch!

  8. John Brownlee says:

    You’ve got to twist it for it to work? That dog won’t hunt. These engorged tentacles slithering out of my nasal cavities aren’t exactly the gossamer nasal lanugo of a neonate, you know.

  9. cha0tic says:

    I’m sure it could be usefully modded to a powder snorting device.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Joel: I think the word you’re looking for is knurled, not gnarled. I’d want to know if I made that kind of mistake.



    • Joel Johnson says:

      Oh, well, “gnarled” still sort of works, but yeah, that is probably the word I was looking for. That’s too similar to not have heard of it. Knurled. I like it. Thanks!

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