Wedding ring delivers searing pain on anniversaries, prevents hen-pecked castrati

rememberring.jpg

For the addle-brained fiance betrothed to a psychopathic harpy, the Remember Ring: a wedding band that reminds you of your anniversary through a searing blast of heat and the wafting smell of your own charred, decaying flesh.

Gadget Lab explains:

If you’re prone to memory lapses — or simply have too many secret second families on the side — then you may want to consider the Remember Ring. Here’s how it works: A full 24 hours before your special day begins, a “hot spot” on the ring’s interior will begin to warm up to 120ยบ F for approximately 10 seconds. And in case that doesn’t do the trick, the ring will continue to warm up every hour, on the hour, all day long!

I’m no stranger to burning sensations reminding me of important dates — this is how I remember to get my yearly penicillin shots on the anniversary of a particularly lamentable youthful transaction in the jasmine-scented brothels of Chiang-Mai — and I suppose the Remember Ring’s solution does beat forgetting your anniversary entirely, which I would assume, not being married myself, would have something to do with the maiming of your genitals.

The projected price, should this ever actually be crafted (which seems unlikely) is $760 — a bargain, surely.

Product Page [Alaska Jewelry via Gadget Lab]

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11 Responses to Wedding ring delivers searing pain on anniversaries, prevents hen-pecked castrati

  1. Benny says:

    I expect to see many different uses of this ring in the body-mod community.

    Searing nipple pain!!!

    truly a brave new world.

  2. HeatherB says:

    I’m a girl and I forget the anniversary all the time. Hopefully they will make it in lady sizes as well.

  3. License Farm says:

    Pain on the anniversary: redundant?

  4. jennfrank says:

    Can I please just custom-order one to go off at 7am daily? Thanks.

  5. dculberson says:

    My wife and I forgot our anniversary a year or two back. We had a good laugh about it. She’s awesome.

    My opinion is this: if the woman doesn’t bring up anything special, why is it the man forgetting? Maybe he remembered and was testing her?

    Yeah.. probably not, though.

  6. Anonymous says:

    How very Harry Potter-Hermione-esque. I love it.

  7. artmanro says:

    Why not a Remember Ring providing instead of pain,pleasure sensations because couples are united first of all through the pleasure they are giving to each other and not through the pain.The pain only divides people,also a Pleasure Remember Ring would have a much more commercial success.

  8. Dustin Driver says:

    Why not a Remember Ring providing instead of pain,pleasure sensations because couples are united first of all through the pleasure they are giving to each other and not through the pain.The pain only divides people,also a Pleasure Remember Ring would have a much more commercial success.

    And orgasmo ring would be even better.

  9. someToast says:

    Not to be That Guy, but this was pretty much taken down as fantasy a year and a half ago in Gizmodo.

    http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/gadgets/remember-ring-gives-you-a-burning-reminder-202202.php

  10. typefire says:

    Best thing is you can recycle it, by changing the date.

  11. dofnup says:

    Geez, wouldn’t some harmless beeping or flashing LEDs get the same result without having to resort to searing pain? o_O

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