In an attempt to get young automotive designers to understand the physical trials of old age — stiff limbs, poor eyesight, diminished ability to catch a mouthful of Viagra mid-backflip before landing a limbs-akimbo bedpost cockstand held only by quivering urethra — Nissan has swaddled its youngsters in an “aging suit” and put them behind the wheel. Think metal knee braces, but rusty, with a set of sandpapered goggles for clouded vision and an extra 11-pound weight to simulate a neck-snapping goiter or enlarged prostate.
“It’s very difficult to drive, says Nissan’s Naoki Yamamoto after a turn at the wheel in a suit that runs from neck to feet.“You lose the freedom you’re accustomed to, and while you can move, there are limitations, such as turning the steering wheel or switching on the blinker.”
So that’s why old people leave on the blinkers. They haven’t forgotten; they just can’t be arsed to make such a Herculean effort twice in one trip.
Japan ageing suit puts car makers in senior circuit [Reuters.com via Gadget Lab]
Joel, your lede forces me to envisage a penis walking along on the extended lips of its urethral slit, as an anthropomorphised mop might do with its fronds in an old cartoon.
This is why I call my penis “My little sorcerer’s apprentice.” (“My little” a familiar diminutive, of course, not necessarily a descriptor.)
I hope they put little knives in the the suit too. You can’t really experience being old unless you include chronic pain.