Super Blockquote: Hewlett-Packard, Workstations Division

HP released upgrades to its swanky high-end workstations, aimed at animators and other top productivity bananas. More dreadful than the specifications, however, were the words of John Thompson, vice president and general manager, Workstations, Personal Systems Group, HP.

Boing Boing Gadgets has deemed the standard HTML blockquote insufficient to reveal the expressive power of his business English. Hence, Super Blockquote, which arms you against the marketroid oppression of Thompson’s prose.

About Rob Beschizza

Rob Beschizza is the Managing Editor of Boing Boing. He's @beschizza on Twitter and can be found on Facebook too. Try your luck at besc...@gmail.com

 

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41 Responses to Super Blockquote: Hewlett-Packard, Workstations Division

  1. gabrielm says:

    That last “of” was tough to get!

  2. Charles Shopsin says:

    That is freaking awesome! Good job Rob.

  3. Evil Jim says:

    Needs work (ball only bounces off paddle at 90 degrees) but a nice concept.

  4. semiotix says:

    Semiotix says, “The block quote (and hence the HTML tag)
    “ are the descendants of the old-timey newspaper practice of
    “ running a line of open-quote marks down the left-hand column
    “ of a long quote, so that people wouldn’t forget that they were
    “ reading a quote and not the narrator. That always struck me as a
    “ snazzy-looking device, much more so than just empty space at
    “ the margins, and I never miss a chance to advocate for its return.”

  5. Rob Beschizza says:

    Thank you, Charles!

    GabrielM, wait until you face the dreaded lone hyphen!

  6. jennfrank says:

    90 degrees? What? Maybe I just had super accuracy thanks to my laptop’s touchpad.

  7. Rob Beschizza says:

    It’s not all my work: Joel created the logo and the custom “Vaus.” And everyone insisted on gameplay improvements like ball-angling, so that the game would actually be tolerable enough to play through until the victory graphic comes up

  8. Anonymous says:

    My ball got stuck at the top and just went back and forth. I couldn’t get the last 3 words. FAIL.

  9. citykids says:

    Great, now I’m never going to get any work done now!

  10. Dirac says:

    The sentences seem to have the same amount of information and relevance even with half the words gone…

  11. kebko says:

    Sentences have the same information and relevance half gone…

  12. Kieran O'Neill says:

    lol – awesome. I had to turn off the nav bar in FF to get it to fit on the screen (of my EEE), though.

    Is there a version which lets you pass in the text (say via the URL)?

  13. Anonymous says:

    Well done! Though it seems worth mentioning that the sounds and the story at the end are from the arcade classic Arkanoid, not breakout.

  14. yish says:

    pure beauty. this thing is crying: API, API, API!

  15. jordan314 says:

    Awesome, though lacks a lives system.
    Agreed that custom text (for Bush quotes and spammer text) and maybe custom images would be cool. It’s pretty cathartic.

  16. drivenbyboredom says:

    pshaw.. this game is going to be completely out of date in 2100

  17. Machinehead says:

    Genial!!!

  18. Rob Beschizza says:

    A few notes!

    * You can angle the ball by bouncing it off the very edges of the bat.

    * Passing arbitrary quotes to the game, bonuses and power-ups will be added the next time we roll it out.

    * Watch for more exciting games in the BoingChoice Arcade.

  19. jennfrank says:

    HA HA HA HA!

  20. hcmeyer says:

    “My ball got stuck at the top and just went back and forth. I couldn’t get the last 3 words. FAIL.”
    “Needs work (ball only bounces off paddle at 90 degrees) but a nice concept.”
    Minor design deficiency – the top surface of the paddle has to be convex to prevent harmonic lock, or the playing field must have non-commensurate sides, impossible on any real computer graphics system.

  21. Rob Beschizza says:

    Non-commensurate sides will be in the Intellivision version.

  22. mistercharlie says:

    Stunning.

  23. yer_maw says:

    21 brillzo street.

  24. strider_mt2k says:

    Oh that was fantastic!

    Last word standing: multimedia

    Please do this again in the future. It was great fun!

  25. Thinkerer says:

    You invent such a great toy for the elimination of pointless hucksterism and booshwah and waste it on a minor eruption of corporate twaddle?

    It’s an election year — unlimited free targets!!!

  26. Deleet says:

    my ball got stuck on the left side just going vertically up and down

  27. Teresa Nielsen Hayden / Moderator says:

    This is the greatest text deprecation device since alt.warlord’s glider cannons.

  28. Brian Carnell says:

    Nice game, but I really thought the ball was OP. Could you nerf that? kthanxbai

  29. bs says:

    so great!
    breakout is my favorite game of all time
    (sorry tetris)

  30. dculberson says:

    I just had to say:

    SHINOBI!!!!

    and, @Deleet: Did you try moving your paddle around? Because you can change the angle of the ball.

  31. hedztalez says:

    The ball hit the left edge and got stuck in a rebound loop just moving up and down the left side.

    Only got past the first 4 words.

  32. mdhatter says:

    That was unexpected fun, tyvm.

    Theresa could use that as a backup for disemvowelment, for when a commenter -really- deserves a ‘point and laugh’ session.

  33. hedztalez says:

    On the next try it hit the very edge of the paddle and go stuck IN the paddle.

    Methinks the hit detection be a bit buggy.

  34. takeshi says:

    @ Anonymous:

    Thank God somebody noticed this was homage to Arkanoid, which is fifty times the game Breakout is.

  35. wah says:

    Outstanding.

    This is the perfect treatment for this type of stuff.

    I’d go with the name “Marketdroid” (i.e. Araknoid) rather than ‘Super Blockquote’, but that’s just me.

  36. Keneke says:

    The ball gets stuck in the edges, happened to me twice!

  37. BaS says:

    Ditto on #6′s getting stuck in a horizontal back and forth :( Mine did the same with only the word “driving” left with the ball a scant 3/16ths of an inch above taunting me.

  38. Scuba SM says:

    Having just read Pattern Recognition and Eastern Standard Tribe, I can see this as a way of marketing/advertising rather than shaming. But maybe I’m just craaaaaazy.

  39. Rob Beschizza says:

    The back-and-forth stuck-edges bug is fixed. I never thought anyone would care to play it more than once! Refresh caches.

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