Fuck You, Razr: The Monkey's Paw of Cellular Phones
My last mobile was a Motorola Razr, and shortly after I bought it, I called up Joel, bragging about my new purchase. "Aren't you a precious and unique snowflake?" he responded, his voice dripping with contempt. I have since had the opportunity to parrot that back to him as his Herculean resolve not to buy an "inferior EDGE iPhone" and "wait for Rev 2" lasted all of a single day.
But I digress. It didn't take me long to begin to notice the problems with my Razr, prompting me to carve A.M.'s infamous hate monologue into the back of the phone with a tiny jeweler's screwdriver. What a piece of shit: all style, no substance, with a UI design that hearkens back to the moon man logic of a Roberta Williams adventure game. *
Over at Gizmodo, another disillusioned Razr owner, Addy Dugdale, has written a marvelous little essay about her sadomasochistic relationship with her phone over the last three years (three years? God bless her. I barely topped out at one.)
This part, in particular, made me nod with grim understanding:
I can't even lose it, like older more beloved phones. I left the RAZR in a club a couple of months ago, and I'd made it halfway down the block when some guy came running up behind me. "You left this on the bar," he wheezed. (Everyone in Spain smokes, and I'm a fast walker.) As he palmed the RAZR back into my hand, I could swear there was a look of pity on his face.
It really is the Monkey's Paw of cellular phones.
Alas, Poor Razr, I Knew Ye Well [Gizmodo]
* — It has been a while, so I may not have the exact details right, but as I recall, when you sent a text message on the Razr, it had two screens: message entry and then a confirmation screen. On the message entry screen, the right upper-most button was assigned to "OK." On the confirmation screen, this same button was assigned to "Cancel," which would quit you to the main menu, your message unsaved. This made it easy to accidentally delete text messages. "OK TO SEND?" OK. "REALLY OK?" OK! "MESSAGE DELETED." Fuck you, Motorola.
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A few years ago while living in Poland I had a Motorola cell phone. I don't remember the exact model number -- it looked somewhat similar to the current V190.
One "feature" that stands out in my memory was its alarm clock. I often use my cell phone as a travel alarm. Motorola went "above and beyond" to make this as painful and useless as possible:
1. Setting the alarm required setting the full date and time for the alarm. There was no way to set an alarm for "the next time it's 7:00am".
2. The date for setting the alarm did not default to today's date; it defaulted to the previously set date. If you last set the alarm a few months ago, you had to scroll through the calendar to find today's date. (There was no "go to today" button on the alarm's calendar.)
3. When the alarm rang, pressing any of the exterior buttons disabled the alarm. The phone was a clamshell design; if it happened to be closed when the alarm activated, you had to open it very carefully (with sleepy eyes and fumbling hands).
4. One specific button on the keypad would activate the snooze feature. Any other button would disable the alarm.
5. After three snoozes, the alarm would auto-disable. No warning, no notice, no alarm.
There were many other user interface gaffs as well (including the texting behavior you mention). For example, the external black & white LCD displayed the current time when the unit was closed. When opened, it showed only a Motorola logo. This made it impossible to see the current time while actually talking on the phone.
This phone was eventually stolen from my backpack in an internet cafe in Wroclaw, Poland. I was so happy. Not only was I rid of this infuriating device, but I knew the thief really deserved it.
After my experience with this phone I resolved to never purchase another cell from Motorola.
Shame on you! Roberta Williams is an icon!
It was a long while before they released a Razr for Verizon customers, as I recall. And thanks to Verizon's proprietary UI -- a well-documented paradigm of ugly clunk -- the Razr was made that much more horrific. But in that case, the Razr was crippled by, you know, the same awful nested menus that plague any Verizon user experience, regardless of whether or not the customer chose to HelloMoto. So I am wondering how much of a phone's shoddy design can be ascribed to the carrier itself.
(Disclosure: I've never owned a Razr, myself, but I was a Verizon customer right up until my iPhone purchase, which speaks volumes of the importance of GUI.)
My sister has a RAZR "because it's pink"
that's pretty much the market right there
p.s I have a nokia 5300, and I have to say it's one of the best midrange phones ever. My only wish is that it ran simbian, and my gripe is that it's only got 8 mg internal memory (but came with a free 1 gig microSD card)
'Tis the Chevy Lumina van of phones.
I'm still waiting for a phone that I can, y'know, make a fucking phone call on. They pack so many "value-added" features, that they completely disregard the one functional thing that it was originally designed to do.
Wow, I have a Razr and don't really mind it. The calendar and alarm clock work fine and are easy to change around. I can make and receive calls no problem.
My only complain was Verizon having disabled a few features so that they could milk more money off of rigntones and mp3s, but after a little effort hacking, I was able to upload the "mail me" ringtone from Suicide Club into it.
I have the newer V9 RAZR and I must say it is a marked improvement over the old one, notwithstanding a few idiotic button/function swaps that make you wonder if Moto really do have a team of monkeys somewhere, developing UIs.
I've been the owner of three Motorola phones now - a V300, a V551, and a Razr. All were disappointing. Between the V551 and the Razr, I got a Sony Ericsson W600, which maddened me to no end with its clunky UI and swivel design which is prone to losing screws (though I've downgraded back to it, because it wasn't as bad as the Razr).
The one thing above all else that enraged me about the Razr was text messaging, and specifically the total and complete lack of control over the custom dictionary. It took multiple typings of the same word to get it to remember, and it seemed to have an internal dictionary of words it deemed inappropriate, any of which it would refuse to remember. It would randomly forget your most used custom words, especially ones used all the time.
What bothers me the most about the Razr? The fact that it had the same wretched UI as the V300 and V551, and that I actually bought the fucking thing. I will never, EVER again buy a Motorola. I hope the iPhone comes to Canada soon!
Well, strangely I have the original Razr and like it just fine. (Possibly because I don't do any texting and just use it as a traditional phone? )
I like the form factor which has let it ride comfortably in my pocket for the last 2.5 years and the fact it automatically switches to loud ring when you plug in (which means you can leave it on vibrate and never have to worry about missing a call or pissing off everyone at a theater).
Additionally, I know the interface varies wildly from service provider to service providers, so you shouldn't lambast the interface without mentioning who your provider is. I have T-Mobile and the interface is huuugely better than the one a friend had on her Verizon variant (which she ditched within 4 months).
"I'm still waiting for a phone that I can, y'know, make a fucking phone call on. They pack so many "value-added" features, that they completely disregard the one functional thing that it was originally designed to do."
I'm no expert, but I hear you can place phone calls on numerous mobile phones!
It Just Works?
Nokia 9300.
Damn fine phone, excellent radio & audio quality.
On the outside: A phone.
Open the lid, and SHAZAM! E-mail (POP3, IMAP, Blackberry, SMS, MMS), a web browser, contacts manager; Word, Excel, Powerpoint editors, MP3 player, Real video player and the My Own button which I have programmed for Mobipocket reader. J2ME apps run well, which is how I just upgraded the web browser to Opera Mini 4.1 operamini.com/beta
Anonymous, I live in Europe. Over here, phones don't get crazy proprietary UIs based upon which carrier you're on.
Heh. It's funny that this is up on BB now: I just recently managed to get rid of my RAZR, which I only had for a month. It failed more spectacularly than any other phone I've ever had...what a piece of crap!
Of course, it's with Verizon (if I had my way, and I don't/won't, my wife and I would use T-Mobile), and I can't help but feel like their constant firmware updates had a lot to do with its general crappiness.
On the other hand, I replaced it with a K1m, which is largely the same guts (slightly updated for newer tech) in a narrower body. I did like the way the V1m fit behind my wallet in my pocket, but both phones have the crappy, awful, lame, ugly Verizon interface (I feel like I'm waiting for a call from 2002 when I use it).
I've got a Razr, had it a couple of years, and for a "just-to-make-phone-calls" kind of phone it suits my needs. There is one thing, however, that drives me crazy: When the battery is low (meaning it will die in 4 to 6 hours) it sounds an alarm every 30 or 60 seconds. A very annoying alarm. And there is no way to turn it off save for turning the phone completely off, which is not always a viable option. And you can't turn it down -- it's at maximum volume, like it or not. Stupid phone...
A missed call on my Razr initiates this message :
"1 missed call. Zero unknown."
I think it means that it knows who the caller was since they are in my address book, but Motorola thought it was more helpful to say "You have one missed call and it wasn't someone you don't know."
I'd also like to share the joy I get when I am writing a text and an incoming call causes the phone to crash. Naturally I lose both.
When I first got this stupid thing, I loaded it with a fat 500MB memory card. But since SMS messages can only arrive on the phone's internal memory, I am constantly running out of space since I can't have messages go to the 500MB card.
What a truly crappy, crappy phone. I had a more functionable mobile phone in 1997.
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I'm glad I never got the RAZR because I demand tactile feedback from my input devices.
My LG CU500V is great. Music, everything I need.
Now if I could find the dratted thing...
I have the Razr V3C and I must say I am truly disappointed. On one hand, I do like the sleek design of the key pad, the clarity of both LCD screens, and how slim it is; on the other hand however, the battery life is dreadful (I have power save mode on and the brightness turned down to zero) and I can't use downloaded ringtones with the Alarm function.
At first when I set an Alarm with one of my downloaded ringtones, it worked. And it still does from time to time with certain ones... but most often it just makes one ugly little bleep and that's it. Simple solution is to use the original ringtones... but paying 225 bucks for a phone, I expect the damn features to work properly.
The battery, I let it die and charged it for 16 hours to max out its charge like I was told to, yet it still dies within 24 hours after unplugging from the charger. I use it for maybe 20 minutes a day if that. It supposedly has an emergency charge activated by turning off the phone for 15 seconds or so then turning it back on, but I can't be bothered to try it. Manual said it buys me another 10 minutes of talk time.
It's got all sorts of little quirks that aren't worth mentioning... while we're on the topic of worth, I'd like to add that Razr's are NOT worth buying. If I could get my money back, I would. I could sell it to someone else, but that would be like selling a curse and I'm not that much of a dick. It's a horrible phone, bottom line. Next phone I buy, I know one thing: Goodbye Moto.
i have mine two years now, battery life just now starting to decline, extra features/UI suck, up/download super suck, low battery tone annoying and startling, but as a phone and alarm clock it has never failed or been difficult, i really like the thin folded shape and large easy to handle unfolded shape. camera shmamera.
huh? it's 2008, people. I can't believe people are still using the RAZR.
FWIW i picked one up back then and was rid of it after a month. it's always been a POS and shows how the carriers in this country have succeeded in locking their customers into the locked-subsidized model for handsets.
Free your minds and buy unlocked.