The Pet’s Eye View Camera offers voyeuristic pet owners an affordable way to experience their dog’s many incredible adventures. Hanging around your dog’s collar, the Pet’s Eye automatically takes first-person photographs from your dog’s perspective every 1, 5 or 15 minutes. The resolution is only 640×480, but let’s face it: the chances of your pet snapping an Ansel Adams caliber masterwork while licking his scrotum are pretty slim. You probably won’t be framing these pictures. The price is just shy of fifty bucks.
Since dogs are wonderful but intrinsically foul creatures, I expect that the sweet and gummy Mother Hubbard who buys one of these, eager to experience her Schmookums’ daily adventures, is in for a horrible surprise when she gets the film developed. Picture 1: racing out the doggy door. Picture 2: a close-up shot of another dog’s hemorrhoidal anus. Picture 3: the pink blur of a first-person tongue enthusiastically lapping at a pool of vomit. Picture 4: waiting patiently in line behind a doberman for a turn in the doggy-style gang bang of the bitch up the road. And picture 5: the gelid, bloodless face of the neighborhood postman, his blind eyes protruding, his throat a spurting mess of canine-torn flesh.