Beamz: laser theremin thingie on sale at Sharper Image
Beamz, an electonic musical instrument that combines theremin and laser, is now available for a face-shriveling $600 at Sharper Image and the official website.
"Inspired by a childhood memory of a simple, light-activated door announcer at his local ice cream shop, [inventor] Jerry Riopelle has since leveraged decades of professional musical experience to develop this invention. His years of tinkering resulted in a breakthrough product that uses six laser beams like strings. Players simply pass their hands through each beam to trigger streams of musical notes or sounds. Each performance produces an original composition and the patented software ensures that the music played always will be harmonious, no matter which beam is engaged."
Connect it to your computer via USB, and set it up the way you want it with the included software, and you've got a spectacular-looking public performance. Whether it sounds all that good in person — or if it's anything more complex than a triggering mechanism for pre-produced clips and sequences — is another matter entirely.
Does it not look like a laser-fence? You know, those things in derivative science fiction movies and games that slice up intruders like so much Prosciutto.
Product Page [thebeamz.com]
Press release [PR Newswire]
the latest
latest episodes
Wow, that doesn't make you look like a douchebag at all.
600 dollars for basically 6 on/off triggers? But they're freaking LASER beams man...
It must have some sort of really fancy software to justify the cost of this eyesore.
the promo vid for this abomination is hilarious. been making fun of it on the synth boards for a while now. i'd rather cut my hair with a vacuam cleaner that be seen using this.
Ahhhh, Sharper Image and Theremin music: Two shitty tastes that go together.
Honestly if your name isn't Clara Rockmore, buy a trombone.
In the graphic novel Mark of the Dog, by Silvio Cadelo (1991), the main character plays a much nicer-looking version of this sort of thing (and with way more beams), which makes me suspect that it was not that new an idea even back then. -- DonSimpson
I thought the Sharper Image was shutting down?
I would like to point out that this is in NO WAY a theremin. Like Stuiethegod says, it's 6 on/off triggers. A theremin uses capacitance between the antennas and your hands (or what have you) to determine the frequency and amplitude of the sound wave.
As a theremin playing punk rock badass , I felt the urgent need to clarify.
Also, being in the same room with that device will make you the whitest mofo alive.
That sounds like crap, and generic crap at that... and dude rocking out just made it painful to watch as well. By the way, Jean Michel Jarre called, he wants his trademark 80's instrument back.
Don't know if it's kosher to link to a competing gadget blog (and if it's not, sorry!), or if it's even considered "competing" in the grand scheme of things, but this thing got hilariously savaged on Gizmodo:
http://gizmodo.com/376659/beamz-infomercial-is-most-stupid-promo-video-in-history
I'm not watching the video, but I'm thinking early prototype laser harp. Yessir.
It's definitely kosher to link to Gizmodo. We're not competitors. (Because if so, they win!)
Here is what this thing really wants to be.