Monica Hesse of the Washington Post has written a weird little piece about the Nubrella, an over-the-shoulders plastic dome which is marketing itself as the Umbrella 2.0, despite the fact that it features a five-step opening process and you need to put on a harness to keep it on. It’s being described by its creator — who claims he’s invested $400,000 into the Nubrella’s creation — as the perfect umbrella for the on-the-go cell phone jockey who must always be charging down the street, thumbs a T9 blur as he texts, no matter what the weather. This prompts Monica to inexplicably note that…
Think of the 21st-century possibilities [of the Nubrella]. No more one-handed texting. No more rummaging for the ringing PDA while trying to keep the groceries off of wet pavement. Chatting, waving, toting, umbrella-holding: four tasks that were never before simultaneously possible.
The whole article’s clearly a spoon-fed adverstory with some quirky umbrella history thrown in, but that’s okay. The tone’s hysterical: “Oh, sure, you might think the umbrella’s pretty much perfect, but if you’re so smart, why don’t you tell me something, champ? Ever tried juggling while holding an umbrella? What about taking your contacts out, or defribillating a newborn, or walking on your hands? Who thinks the umbrella’s perfect now, Mr. Weisenheimer? You need a Nubrella!” It’s like declaring the shopping bag a failed accessory because it can’t hover, open up into a dimensional wormhole or travel back in time.
If you would, for any reason, like a Nubrella, though, it’s not too dear at $49.95. Think of all the antediluvian pedestrians you’ll be able to stupefy into quadruple heart attacks, waving and using an umbrella at the same time like some sort of 39th Century Moon Man.
Need to text in the rain? They’ve got it covered. [Washington Post]