Alcatel's Playboy phone not even good for masturbators

The Internet is so successful as a pornography distribution system that even the once venerable Playboy must expand its brand to include lingerie, t-shirts, plastic training potties and, now, cell phones.

Alcatel's OT-V770A is a shoddy little device, branded with the ubiquitous silhouetted bunny. The specs are appalling: a 1.3 megapixel camera and 10MB of onboard memory, expandable by microSD. But features aren't what Alcatel are banking on to sell this thing: it's the pre-loaded images of Playboy playmates included on the device.

There probably is a cell phone market for obsessive-compulsive masturbators and pornography enthusiasts. Certainly, the iPhone allows you instant access to the Internet's Borges-esque library of infinitely sub-fetishistic pornography, no matter where you are. But even that committed pervert would probably balk at surfing his porn on a 200 pixel screen. The clitoral pink color scheme probably doesn't help any either. But at least any young girls who pick this phone up will have a library of appropriate body-image role models to choose as wallpapers from the get-go!

Is That A Playboy Mobile In Your Pocket? [Pocket Picks]