Font Haiku

And now, an interlude.

Loathsome Comic Sans'
uneven inky slugtrails.
That vile, hated font.

Transparent? Get real.
Sickeningly self-conscious.
Yep, Helvetica.

Trebuchet MS,
Web designers sick of want
use you, but still weep.

From the seventies,
Not one thing or the other:
It is Optima.

Let's make a movie!
Oh, in that case you must use
Manly Trajan Pro.

Arial, the clone
But not of helvetica.
Grotesque is its sire.

Georgia, Verdana,
Sprung from the internet's loin
Liked but never loved.

The cheapest sherry,
Expensive invitations,
Demand Zapfino.

Add your font haiku/senryu/limerick/whatever to the comments!

Update: Someone's had this idea before!


Discussion

Take a look at this

In spring, formulas
bloom, like little LaTeX buds,
on trees of pure math

Take a look at this

Look, I'm so retro.
Courier looks just like a
Typewriter... But not.

Take a look at this

Wonderful! That's actually a great, economical paean to LaTeX.

Take a look at this
#4 posted by Taylor , May 15, 2008 4:29 PM

Garamond sinks in,
Slowly forming a horcrux.
Do you read Rowling?

Take a look at this

Courier, reminiscent
of typewritten past
and, sadly, the Drudge Report

Take a look at this

Fantastic work, folks!

Take a look at this

Rob, my wife's favorite font is Comic Sans. She has it all over her business cards, website, etc. She's going to be so hurt that you called it "loathsome,uneven inky slugtrails". I guess I won't tell her... just to spare you some flaming. :D

Take a look at this

Five to six pages?
But I've only written four!
What now? Tahoma!

Take a look at this

Jake0748 — your wife must visit this site.

Take a look at this
#10 posted by eroosey , May 15, 2008 7:19 PM

Times of grids and lines
No serifs or deco please!
Like what type of cheese?

Answer here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/emily_roose/2456850393/

Take a look at this
#11 posted by Jake0748 , May 15, 2008 7:42 PM

#9 - Matthew, actually she doesn't. She sees how much time I spend here and she doesn't want to get sucked in. :)

Take a look at this

The seventies called
They said they want their font back
But Bauhaus won't go.

Take a look at this

[And yes, I know Bauhaus way predates the 70's, that's just what era it brings to mind for most people.]

Take a look at this
#14 posted by emailgb , May 15, 2008 8:15 PM

Aging editor
Going blind, gotta sit way back
Times New Roman BIG

Take a look at this
#15 posted by zikman Author Profile Page, May 16, 2008 12:41 AM

Calibri, Corbel,
Candara, Segoe, no thanks
Times New Roman please

Take a look at this
#16 posted by Nelson.C , May 16, 2008 4:15 AM

A lot of hate on for various fonts, are there none that you love?

Take a look at this
#17 posted by pbro , May 16, 2008 8:21 AM

Oh, Franklin Gothic
Though not our corporate font
Still used by Training

Take a look at this
#18 posted by DMcK , May 16, 2008 12:13 PM

Data 70
soothing everybody's eyes
on Moonbase Alpha

Take a look at this
#19 posted by Abby , May 16, 2008 12:41 PM

Licensed fonts wink out
Illustrator has trouble
The maps look different

Take a look at this
#20 posted by Abby , May 16, 2008 12:48 PM

Missing a tittle
Like eyes, missing a pupil
Bad typography

Take a look at this
#21 posted by rmm , May 16, 2008 2:30 PM

Default menu used for
anything ‘ethnic’; Papyrus you are
Sadly still overused

Take a look at this

Yeah. Fuck Papyrus.

Take a look at this
#23 posted by fylateri , May 18, 2008 2:57 PM

bb gadgets the blog of haters
hard to read sans vitriol osmosis
flee for terminal in beloved Consolas 9

Take a look at this
#24 posted by bellgong , May 19, 2008 8:41 AM

Myriad, I had to steal you
With 9999 of your friends;
But you are the one.

Take a look at this
#25 posted by beemoh , June 20, 2008 9:03 AM

Turns your text into
incomprehensible crap
Wingdings FTW

Take a look at this
#26 posted by danfan , June 20, 2008 9:16 AM

Money and finance
Or conveying importance
Time to use Trajan

Take a look at this
#27 posted by danfan , June 20, 2008 9:17 AM

The bane of the web
As bad as a spinning skull
Just say no to Times

Take a look at this
#28 posted by danfan , June 20, 2008 9:20 AM

We have a new site
We made it 2.0
By using Georgia

Take a look at this
#29 posted by danfan , June 20, 2008 9:22 AM

Hrm, no edit? That last one should be:

We made a new site
We wanted it 2.0
So we used Georgia

The syllable count is important!

Take a look at this

Graceful and refined
But tragically over-used
Poor old Mrs. Eaves

Take a look at this
#31 posted by Anonymous , June 20, 2008 1:33 PM

Health spa or yoga
Show them that you're natural,
earthy papyrus.

Take a look at this

DOM CASUAL
Hoary Staple of
’60s TV Credit Crawls,
It’s Dom Casual

COOPER BLACK
During the seventies,
What T-shirt saying wasn’t
set in Cooper Black?

HOBO 1
Breathes there a man with
soul so dead as to think “Hey,
Hobo might work here”?

HOBO2
Hobo, bane of good,
would seem a joke on a warning
label; one could die!

DAVIDA
Playboy Mansion, Bob
Culp’s Nehru jackets, swinging;
This face is at home.

Take a look at this
#33 posted by Anonymous , January 28, 2009 1:50 PM

Oh the irony,
American Typewriter
is not monospace.

Take a look at this

My kind of town, Chicago
Is. But my kind of font? I say never.
My heart's in San Francisco.

GB.

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