Font Haiku

And now, an interlude.

Loathsome Comic Sans’
uneven inky slugtrails.
That vile, hated font.

Transparent? Get real.
Sickeningly self-conscious.
Yep, Helvetica.

Trebuchet MS,
Web designers sick of want
use you, but still weep.

From the seventies,
Not one thing or the other:
It is Optima.

Let’s make a movie!
Oh, in that case you must use
Manly Trajan Pro.

Arial, the clone
But not of helvetica.
Grotesque is its sire.

Georgia, Verdana,
Sprung from the internet’s loin
Liked but never loved.

The cheapest sherry,
Expensive invitations,
Demand Zapfino.

Add your font haiku/senryu/limerick/whatever to the comments!

Update: Someone’s had this idea before!

About Rob Beschizza

Rob Beschizza is the Managing Editor of Boing Boing. He's @beschizza on Twitter and can be found on Facebook too. Email is dead, but you can try your luck at besc...@gmail.com
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34 Responses to Font Haiku

  1. Matthew Miller says:

    Jake0748 — your wife must visit this site.

  2. Nelson.C says:

    A lot of hate on for various fonts, are there none that you love?

  3. Anonymous says:

    Oh the irony,
    American Typewriter
    is not monospace.

  4. eroosey says:

    Times of grids and lines
    No serifs or deco please!
    Like what type of cheese?

    Answer here:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/emily_roose/2456850393/

  5. fylateri says:

    bb gadgets the blog of haters
    hard to read sans vitriol osmosis
    flee for terminal in beloved Consolas 9

  6. Jake0748 says:

    #9 – Matthew, actually she doesn’t. She sees how much time I spend here and she doesn’t want to get sucked in. :)

  7. rmm says:

    Default menu used for
    anything ‘ethnic’; Papyrus you are
    Sadly still overused

  8. dculberson says:

    The seventies called
    They said they want their font back
    But Bauhaus won’t go.

  9. dculberson says:

    [And yes, I know Bauhaus way predates the 70's, that's just what era it brings to mind for most people.]

  10. emailgb says:

    Aging editor
    Going blind, gotta sit way back
    Times New Roman BIG

  11. bellgong says:

    Myriad, I had to steal you
    With 9999 of your friends;
    But you are the one.

  12. michaelbuhrley says:

    Graceful and refined
    But tragically over-used
    Poor old Mrs. Eaves

  13. Anonymous says:

    Health spa or yoga
    Show them that you’re natural,
    earthy papyrus.

  14. beemoh says:

    Turns your text into
    incomprehensible crap
    Wingdings FTW

  15. danfan says:

    Money and finance
    Or conveying importance
    Time to use Trajan

  16. danfan says:

    The bane of the web
    As bad as a spinning skull
    Just say no to Times

  17. danfan says:

    We have a new site
    We made it 2.0
    By using Georgia

  18. danfan says:

    Hrm, no edit? That last one should be:

    We made a new site
    We wanted it 2.0
    So we used Georgia

    The syllable count is important!

  19. pandnotq says:

    In spring, formulas
    bloom, like little LaTeX buds,
    on trees of pure math

  20. Rob Beschizza says:

    Yeah. Fuck Papyrus.

  21. HeartlessMachine says:

    Look, I’m so retro.
    Courier looks just like a
    Typewriter… But not.

  22. Rob Beschizza says:

    Wonderful! That’s actually a great, economical paean to LaTeX.

  23. pbro says:

    Oh, Franklin Gothic
    Though not our corporate font
    Still used by Training

  24. DMcK says:

    Data 70
    soothing everybody’s eyes
    on Moonbase Alpha

  25. Taylor says:

    Garamond sinks in,
    Slowly forming a horcrux.
    Do you read Rowling?

  26. John Leverett says:

    DOM CASUAL
    Hoary Staple of
    ’60s TV Credit Crawls,
    It’s Dom Casual

    COOPER BLACK
    During the seventies,
    What T-shirt saying wasn’t
    set in Cooper Black?

    HOBO 1
    Breathes there a man with
    soul so dead as to think “Hey,
    Hobo might work here”?

    HOBO2
    Hobo, bane of good,
    would seem a joke on a warning
    label; one could die!

    DAVIDA
    Playboy Mansion, Bob
    Culp’s Nehru jackets, swinging;
    This face is at home.

  27. teamshadowboat says:

    Courier, reminiscent
    of typewritten past
    and, sadly, the Drudge Report

  28. Joel Johnson says:

    Fantastic work, folks!

  29. Abby says:

    Licensed fonts wink out
    Illustrator has trouble
    The maps look different

  30. Abby says:

    Missing a tittle
    Like eyes, missing a pupil
    Bad typography

  31. Jake0748 says:

    Rob, my wife’s favorite font is Comic Sans. She has it all over her business cards, website, etc. She’s going to be so hurt that you called it “loathsome,uneven inky slugtrails”. I guess I won’t tell her… just to spare you some flaming. :D

  32. Gavin Barrett says:

    My kind of town, Chicago
    Is. But my kind of font? I say never.
    My heart’s in San Francisco.

    GB.

  33. zikman says:

    Calibri, Corbel,
    Candara, Segoe, no thanks
    Times New Roman please

  34. mckenna151 says:

    Five to six pages?
    But I’ve only written four!
    What now? Tahoma!

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