One could procedurally generate AP ledes describing how Sony lost the portable music market it created. A computer, however, could never generate gloriously spiteful remarks like "it's a conversation-starter if your dancing hamster has run off" and "like all eggs, it's hard to figure out the point." Bravo!
Between calling it a dumber R2-D2 and bringing Peter Fabergé into it, Rachel Metz points out other flaws in the cute but catastophically-expensive music player, such as the lack of a headphone socket(!) and its tiny 2GB of memory. The verdict? "The world's most advanced (and expensive) cat toy."