LucasArts says old adventure games "impossible" on DS, SCUMM says "lolwut?"
According to associate producer Jeffrey Gullett, porting any of LucasArts' old genre-defining adventure games to the Nintendo DS is impossible. "The cart size of the DS makes it impossible to put out ports of any of our old graphic adventures," claims Gullett. "There's literally not enough room on those carts to put the games out." The message is clear: LucasArts games on the DS would require both the pixie dust of mystical fairies and the compression technology of a 29th century quantum matrix to squeeze on a DS, and only a fool would say otherwise.
Cue the Internet, a vast legion of scowling Bugg Boys confrontationally holding their SCUMM capable DSes up to their web cams, calling Gullett a butthead. And for good reason: DS cartridge sizes go up to 256MB, and SCUMM
has made playing almost all of LucasArts' adventure games on the DS possible for years
. That a console capable of squeezing Super Mario 64
onto a 16MB cartridge wouldn't be able to match the storage capacity of 4 Amiga floppies is ridiculous. It's not even that hard to believe that some of LucasArts' later, beefier adventures, like Grim Fandango
, could be compressed down to 256MB.
A lie? The bizarre corporate parsing of some legal problem? Or perhaps an excuse by an exasperated developer to explain the decisions of the brain dead morons in the board room. Probably the latter, if LucasArts' PR Manager Chris Norris is to be believed: "The decision is taken at a pay grade higher than ours." The same pay grade responsible for the introduction of an anthropomorphic minstrel horse-thing with Down Syndrome to the Star Wars
franchise, no doubt.
Either way, it's stupid. Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis
is three times the Indiana Jones adventure than was Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
... and a perfect opportunity for LucasArts' to squeeze some more money out of an old game.
Lucasarts could revive graphic adventures
Image: Derek Smart
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