Great moments in patents: "Be The Bike"

Ingenious though it was, the "Be The Bike" patent did not attract much attention amongst bicycling aficionados. But dreams were not dashed: the same inventor's later patent for "Be The Pony" would eventually make him a kinky S&M baron of a new, multi-million dollar industry.

Be The Bike! [Patently Absurd Inventions via Core77]

[#1 posted by Bugs , June 6, 2008 8:06 AM]

That looks like awesome fun. I pobably wouldn't buy one, but I'd hire one for an afternoon.

I'm a coward though, so I'd probably demand much, much more padding.

[#2 posted by Ryanwoofs , June 6, 2008 8:18 AM]

Nothing screams "fun" like plummeting down a hill, nigh-unstoppable, leading with your face!

[#3 posted by nogginhead , June 6, 2008 8:54 AM]

Can you say "Tron"?

[#4 posted by Bugs , June 6, 2008 8:58 AM]

@ 2 RyanWoofs

Yep, sounds good to me!

I assumed that there's be a braking mechanism.

You could break with your hands, using your tremendous arm and abdominal muscles to prevent your wrists from snapping like twigs the your legs to slew around and overtake, rolling you into a little knotted ball of pain.

More sensibly you could brake at the back (by flexing your ankles?), which only has the challenge of using your tremendous ab strength (again) to stop the front wheel from carrying on, dragging your face on to the road while you're still decelerating through 15 kph.

Hmmm. Actually, maybe you're right. I'll take a bus instead.

[#5 posted by Fnarf , June 6, 2008 9:43 AM]

It appears to work by utilizing the third buttock.

[#6 posted by Enochrewt , June 6, 2008 9:53 AM]

I'm not a fan of anything that forces me into a prostrate exam position.

[#7 posted by technogeek , June 6, 2008 1:38 PM]

I find myself pondering the likely outcome and rewriting the item title: "Great moments in patients." You'd have to use your back and stomach muscles to hold the wheels at constant distance and in alignment, against your weight plus surface irregularities... Ouch.

Even if you put a board between them to solve that problem, it'd be like trying to ride a scooter while kneeling.

Forget it. I'm gonna go strap a set of skates to my old sled; it'll be a lot less painful.

[#8 posted by stratosfyr , June 6, 2008 8:08 PM]

This is hilarious. I was just designing a character, today, who has tech armour that merges with various vehicles. The idea, originally, was something like this, but the actual design was more like a cross between a trike and a tiny chariot that you kneel in. It is of course motorized, and armed with lasers.

And really, really badly drawn.

Oh, and I quit without saving. Dammit.

[#9 posted by kaiza , June 8, 2008 6:51 AM]

Does this remind anyone else of the Wheelers from Return to Oz?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/the_fifth_element/1583824887/

Please see the Buggy Roller:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1x2rbmOyzgo

[#10 posted by holycowboy , June 9, 2008 10:12 AM]

This exists! Dave England built and rode it for the 1st season of Jackass:

http://www.jackassworld.com/videos/1575413/190414