Why should the experience of an Apple keynote just be a few times a year? Joel’s song conjures the wonder and trepidation of finding that the Apple Store is Down, while a randomly-generated Keynote presentation rolls along incoherently to its classic-rock beat. Reload the page to watch a new one!
Click to play. (It might take a second to buffer; we didn’t add a loading bar.) Lyrics and MP3 download after the jump.
“Apple Store Is Down” Download [320kbps, MP3]
Apple Store Is Down
Best not make any plans today.
The Apple store is down,
new shit is on its way.
A tablet Mac or new SDK.
Doesn’t matter,’cause it’s Apple, As long as Steve goes slow in the keynote:
“Had a great business year, our future success is clear.
CHORUS
But I have just one more thing to show before I disappear.
And I think it’s the most exciting thing that we are gonna launch this year.
Boom it’s here.”
Listen, Steve, my friends and I
have decided that it’s okay that you know (whoa)
that we don’t want for you to die.
If it happened the stock would flatten.
So if you go, go slow!
I need a new boat.
“My hair is gone. I’m grizzled gray. Retire you ask? Not today.
CHORUS
’cause I have just one more thing to show before I disappear.
It might be the most important product that we’re gonna launch this year.
Boom it’s here.”
BRIDGE: My head is swimming; my mouth is dry. I hardly can believe that I am worthy to be in this distortion field.
CHORUS
’cause I want just one more thing to own before I disappear.
And my life needs one more thing to glow to add a little cheer.
Oh thank god it’s here.
Special thanks to #boingboing’s Chris_B for mixing assistance and Jonathan Coulton for a guitar.
Chords please?
No, Liberace!
Speaking as the O.G. Apple Fan Boy that was absolutely beautiful.
The song definitely feels like a JoCo song.
Why aren’t you making a lots of money singing, Joel? Girls should be throwing their bras at you. Also, sweet animation. I esp. like the gremlin atop the bulldog.
Oh God. The Grape line graph with Juice/Drank was too much for me. I’m dying here.
My day is now made of LAUGH.
THIS IS BRILLIANT.
And Rob you Know how I love these things. Jesus guys this is “Table of Malcontents + Gadget Lab + Boing Boing” all in once.
Maybe a Dagon VS R’lye Comparison chart would have been the candy atop of the pie, but that’s just the word of a dork, don’t mind. Anyhow, I laughed the hell out of me.
Thank you, Camillo! And everyone else. This was unbelievably fun.
Wait, who is actually singing this? Joel Johnson?!
That’s awesome.
Fuckstravfuckganza indeed.
The chords:
verse:
A F#m D Dm C#m E4
A C# D Dm C#m Bm E4 Dm
chorus:
A F#m D (E) Dm
A F#m D E4
bridge
F#m Bm F#m E4 Dm
To be heard around campfires all summer!