Song: ‘Apple Store Is Down’

Why should the experience of an Apple keynote just be a few times a year? Joel’s song conjures the wonder and trepidation of finding that the Apple Store is Down, while a randomly-generated Keynote presentation rolls along incoherently to its classic-rock beat. Reload the page to watch a new one!

Click to play. (It might take a second to buffer; we didn’t add a loading bar.) Lyrics and MP3 download after the jump.

“Apple Store Is Down” Download [320kbps, MP3]

Apple Store Is Down

Best not make any plans today.
The Apple store is down,
new shit is on its way.
A tablet Mac or new SDK.
Doesn’t matter,’cause it’s Apple, As long as Steve goes slow in the keynote:
“Had a great business year, our future success is clear.

CHORUS

But I have just one more thing to show before I disappear.
And I think it’s the most exciting thing that we are gonna launch this year.
Boom it’s here.”

Listen, Steve, my friends and I
have decided that it’s okay that you know (whoa)
that we don’t want for you to die.
If it happened the stock would flatten.
So if you go, go slow!
I need a new boat.
“My hair is gone. I’m grizzled gray. Retire you ask? Not today.

CHORUS

’cause I have just one more thing to show before I disappear.
It might be the most important product that we’re gonna launch this year.
Boom it’s here.”

BRIDGE: My head is swimming; my mouth is dry. I hardly can believe that I am worthy to be in this distortion field.

CHORUS

’cause I want just one more thing to own before I disappear.
And my life needs one more thing to glow to add a little cheer.
Oh thank god it’s here.

Special thanks to #boingboing’s Chris_B for mixing assistance and Jonathan Coulton for a guitar.

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12 Responses to Song: ‘Apple Store Is Down’

  1. Anonymous says:

    Chords please?

  2. Rob Beschizza says:

    No, Liberace!

  3. phlavor says:

    Speaking as the O.G. Apple Fan Boy that was absolutely beautiful.

  4. LSK says:

    The song definitely feels like a JoCo song.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Why aren’t you making a lots of money singing, Joel? Girls should be throwing their bras at you. Also, sweet animation. I esp. like the gremlin atop the bulldog.

  6. dukerayburn says:

    Oh God. The Grape line graph with Juice/Drank was too much for me. I’m dying here.

  7. Lea Hernandez says:

    My day is now made of LAUGH.

  8. Camillo Miller says:

    THIS IS BRILLIANT.

    And Rob you Know how I love these things. Jesus guys this is “Table of Malcontents + Gadget Lab + Boing Boing” all in once.

    Maybe a Dagon VS R’lye Comparison chart would have been the candy atop of the pie, but that’s just the word of a dork, don’t mind. Anyhow, I laughed the hell out of me.

  9. Rob Beschizza says:

    Thank you, Camillo! And everyone else. This was unbelievably fun.

  10. BilabialBoxing says:

    Wait, who is actually singing this? Joel Johnson?!

  11. pork musket says:

    That’s awesome.

    Fuckstravfuckganza indeed.

  12. Anonymous says:

    The chords:

    verse:
    A F#m D Dm C#m E4
    A C# D Dm C#m Bm E4 Dm

    chorus:
    A F#m D (E) Dm
    A F#m D E4

    bridge
    F#m Bm F#m E4 Dm

    To be heard around campfires all summer!

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