At a recent European Nintendo event, voice dripping with contempt, Laurent Fischer — Nintendo’s managing director of marketing — remarked that only ” geeks and otaku” would want more storage capacity on their Wiis. On his forehead, a lone artery madly twitched, constraining itself against the taut, purple skin of his apoplectic face. Then he snapped. “NERRRDS! NERRRRDS!” Fischer insanely screamed as he leapt over the podium, casting himself into an albino herd of wheezing, sunken-chested gaming journalists who fell — one by one — before the vicious onslaught of wedgies, indian burns and purple nurples.
Nintendo’s Mixed WiiWare Messages [Next-Gen via Kotaku]
Fischer then proceeded to draw a magnum revolver and pump round after round into his own foot. Authorities were fortunately able to wrestle the weapon from him before he was able to completely destroy the limb.
What, I just heard that he knows his customer demographic wants more storage.
He refused to release the rubber hand from his clenched jaws, insisting, “Bud thith ith the hand thad feedth me!”