Ha! Nice Photoshop, Texas Instruments... Beware Non-Euclidean Sharks!

lolwut? In what physical dimension is this scene set? The fifth? The sixth? The ninth? Or is the implication that your new 3D projector runs on magic? Because nothing in this newly released promotional image for your latest product takes place in this reality. The audience seems to be reacting to something incredibly fascinating happening in the corner, because they aren't even looking at the screen, which is parallel to their line of sight. Even if they were looking at it, it wouldn't explain the great white shark hungrily leaping out of the screen. We won't fault you for creative license: yes, it is impossible to project with just one 3D projector the side of an object hidden from the audience, but clearly you're just trying to get a point across. But couldn't you have at least made sure that your 3D projector was aimed at the screen? Also conspicuous: the mysterious lack of shadows cast by all the objects you just magic lassoed in. You can't farm out Photoshop work to chlorine huffers, TI. I've had theophylline fever dreams with more cogent Newtonian physics than this. TI showcases 3D projector and DLP Pico chipset at InfoComm [Engadget]
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19 Responses to Ha! Nice Photoshop, Texas Instruments... Beware Non-Euclidean Sharks!

  1. w000t says:

    Proof that TI espousesstring theory.

  2. Gainclone says:

    Ever seen a shark’s eyes? All black and lifeless, like a doll’s eyes…

  3. Antinous says:

    Or a clown’s.

  4. hemidemisemiquaver says:

    It looks just like the crappy-on-purpose photoshop jobs made classic by The Onion.

  5. Amplifier says:

    They are horrors of the soul, and yet, they are real. I saw them for a ghastly moment. For a moment I stood on the other side. I stood on the pale gray shores beyond time and space. In an awful light that was not light, in a silence that shrieked, I saw them.

  6. eustace says:

    Hey! I saw ‘em too! Death manifest in their unholy stare, right? Evil demons from other dimensions tearing us bodily apart, yeah? But Windex kills ‘em dead. Just so ya know.

  7. Anonymous says:

    yes, but has anyone jumped them yet?

  8. Banksynergy says:

    Looks like the same kid does the graphics for their whole site…
    You mean the sunset/hovering footless young girl/sad hovering elephant picture isn’t REAL? Well golly, you had me fooled!
    …and don’t even get me started on the shadows.

  9. Agent 86 says:

    clown’s eyes are only lifeless after

  10. Antinous says:

    Oh my god! Is her hair on fire?

  11. vision4bg says:

    Wow, John, you truly are a master wordsmith. Bravo. I couldn’t stop laughing.

  12. Dustin Driver says:

    It’s sad-I’ve gotten so used to bad Photoshop jobs that this didn’t even surprise me. But the accompanying prose is very enjoyable, as always.

  13. Enochrewt says:

    I like how the projector hovers an inch above the table. I guess that explains all the rest of the scene , it’s a magic projector. WoooHooooWoooo!

  14. brynnablue says:

    I stared into the soulless black eyes of these fiends, and was transfixed; in the depths of those sunken orbs I beheld the Abyss, and all the legions of madness.
    Their teeth rend the very fabric of reality; they are thousands upon thousands of knives that slice through sanity and men’s souls.
    They are coming for me. I can sense the vibrations in the aether. Out of the unplumbed depths they rise, out of the earth’s dark, dead corners; they squirm and splash out of their black lairs. An unholy chorus heralds their awakening.
    They will devour us all.

  15. Daemon says:

    Insane now.

  16. bardfinn says:

    Oh, do come around now, chap; Surely it is unrealistic (aha, I pun!) to expect the photomanipulator technicians of this day and age to produce a gem of verisimilitude when their charge is merely to convey an overall impression – ?

    Cause Shirley Know Won Kin Abject Tiw [sic] Mesh-M*A*S*H Huff Stiles? Thematics – bah.

  17. Ceronomus says:

    Wow…that is REALLY awful. That looks like a cut and paste job from teh 80’s, not a modern photoshop job.

  18. dculberson says:

    A magic projector fueled by the souls it has consumed with it’s non-Euclidean shark projections.

    The terror they evince in this photo is real; they feel the icy hand of death gripping their heart. Be felled, and be consumed; it calls thee supper.

  19. airship says:

    Not only that, the shark in the foreground is the exact same shark as the one in the background, only flipped and enlarged. So it’s even more terrifying that you think – those are GIANT 3D SHARK CLONES!!!

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