Kill a man with the Unbreakable Umbrella
For $180, the Unbreakable Umbrella advertises a precipitation shielding system that is not only nigh-invulnerable enough to support the body weight of an Ian Holm look-alike, but which is also strong enough to smash open a human skull like a watermelon.
Our Unbreakable Umbrella has no unusual parts, no more metal than an average umbrella, it does not arouse suspicion, can be carried legally everywhere where any weapons are prohibited, unlike a walking stick it does not cause strange looks if carried by an able-bodied person, and it does protect from rain. Anyone who can use a stick for defense can use this umbrella.
Do you know how to swing a baseball bat? Do you know how to strike with a sturdy stick? If you do, you know all you need to know…
...to beat a man clean to death with an umbrella. Any
umbrella, in point of fact.
The Unbreakable Umbrella
[Real Self Defense via Oh Gizmo
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