Sure to cause waves to lap on the world’s shores when she’s launched next year, Royal Caribbean’s “Project Genesis” cruise liner will be the world’s largest. Her stats are appropriately titanic:
• Cost: $1.24 billion dollars.
• Bigger Than: 43 percent larger than the Queen Elizabeth II, the world’s previous largest ship. She’s 1,180 feet long with a gross tonnage of 220,000, uh, tons.
• Its Own Park: In the middle of the ship is “Central Park,” a public garden that’s as big as a football field.
• Its Own Amphitheater: The “AquaTheater” at the stern is the “first amphitheater at sea.” Note the rock-climbing walls around the edges.
• Its Own Tattoo Parlour/Psychic: It goes without saying: intestinal scarring shouldn’t be the only permanent souvenir your bring home from your cruise.
• Plague Opportunities: Standard berthing supports 5,400 passengers, or 6,400 under Sardine Conditions.
• Sister Forthcoming: A second “Oasis Class” ship will be delivered by the Aker Yards in August, 2010.
I’d rather sequester myself on a dinghy with a case of rum and a rotting seal carcass than go on a cruise, but I understand lots of people like to travel to the world’s most beautiful locations and view them from the confines of a floating strip mall.