Waist-measuring belt is useless but for bragging supermodel’s skeletons

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book of joe pointed out this girth-measuring centimeter belt. It’s perhaps indicative of how obsessed with weight-loss I’ve become over the last couple months that this seems like something I actually want to add to my wardrobe. Not for any bragging rights, you understand. I’m not a supermodel. The circumference of my spinal column isn’t something I feel proud enough to broadcast. Maybe if this were a banana hammock… but I digress.

The point is that when I first started dieting and working out, the most important thing to me was seeing pounds tick off the scale. But as I got in better shape, I realized that the scale would wildly oscillate by as much as five pounds, sometimes. At this point, I realized that my goal wasn’t some subjective numeric poundage, but a Jenny Craig pant size: an image of me doing a karate kick in skin-tight leather while holding a ‘before’ set of MC Hammer style parachute pants aloft for comparison. I wanted to know more than if I’d lost or gained weight: I wanted to know if I’d broadened or shrunk.

In truth, I wouldn’t exactly wear this belt out to the gentleman’s club. But putting it on every morning and seeing how much closer I was to my end goal waist size would make things easier. Of course, a tape measure properly wrapped around one’s mid-riff does the same job, less swankily… making this belt just an expensive little trinket satisfying no real need whatsoever except to the braggartly vain or the person who needs to be chic even whilst aprising the girth of their belly fat in the toilet.

Waist measuring belt [Eat Nine Ghost via book of joe]

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5 Responses to Waist-measuring belt is useless but for bragging supermodel’s skeletons

  1. caipirina says:

    John .. if you are looking into dropping weight while eating healthy .. explore the beauty of juicing (and i’d be keen to read reviews on juicers) … I lost 44lbs since last november based on having a pint of veggie juice a day and doing my exercise bike 1 h … i was shopping for 42″ pants back then .. now i fit into 34″ again .. i strongly recommend this and I think it would be cool to see some juicer reviews up here !!!

    (also .. the actual act of turning veggies into pulp and juice has something raw, fierce and geeky to it)

  2. Anonymous says:

    There’s no indication of where you can buy this belt, but I own a similar belt, which I first saw pictured in a Weight Watchers(-esque?) ad in Singapore. I found one on eBay, eventually:

    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=8325863918

    It gets a *lot* of comments.

    I am a skinny boy, also. The model in the ad was a woman; it might be too catty if you were female. Dudes aren’t as sensitive about weight.

  3. John Brownlee says:

    Caipirina, I’m actually only about 10 pounds away from being at my goal weight. Even so, while I’d love to get into juice, I can’t see it as a weight loss technique for me: I simply enjoy eating solid food too much. My thirty pounds was lost over the last few months simply by calorie restriction and doing about 10-12 hours of hard exercise a week. I’m starting to slack again, though.

  4. monopole says:

    This is perfect for the new Japanese program to fine employers for employees with waistlines greater than a target size:
    http://www.yelp.com/topic/san-jose-japanese-government-controlling-obesity-with-fines

    Now all we have to have is explosive belts that detonate when not tightened to a specific circumference!

  5. 111Katie says:

    I could have used this belt to keep me in check last time I visited Ponderosa.

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