Conceptual toaster eschews ejaculation

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We may have described the pop-up toaster as a perfectly pure gadget, but it all depends on what you're looking for. Many of us find a crusty double ejaculation of perfectly browned slices in a puff of cinnamon sugar to be a perfectly satisfying morning aesthetic, worth its own inherent design inefficiencies. It gives promise to the morning... it prepares us for the day's many incredible adventures. It's loud and explosive and galvanic, just like our lives!

But for the quieter breakfaster, this concept toaster by designer Rob Penny might more fit the bill: toast simply slides out of a front-loaded slot and onto your plate, without all the flashy mechanical eruptions, the sublime gravitational deviance of two slices of raisin cinnamon flying Ikarus-like towards the sun. These people have no soul, but then again, toast was never the breakfast food of choice for the shining spirits: that's Count Chocula.

Toaster With Looks That Kill [Yanko Design]


Discussion

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Instead of ejaculating, it gives birth?

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the drop-down toaster is nothing new; I used one when I worked brunch at Applebee's in the 80s. It was chain driven, however.

The toaster oven is still my favorite, especially when cheese is involved.

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Holy fuck. I WANT one of these NOW. Enough of the focus on explosive ejaculations: I'm all for front-loading slots to get more of the attention.

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It looks like it was designed for Shoe Fetishists; add a choice of colors & textures and a choice of Slingback or Mules and I think you have a winner there.

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#5 posted by Bugs, July 8, 2008 7:08 AM

That's great, but the galvanic ejaculations are what I live for.

What's more fun on a wint'ry morn than standing for minutes poised and alert over the warm glow of your toaster, always ready for your arm to dart snakelike out of your dressing gown and grab the scorching-hot toast mid-flight?

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#6 posted by Anonymous, July 8, 2008 9:32 AM

The true breakfast of programmers is Fruity Pebbles and Jolt.

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Hmmph. Needs a butter-roller-onner along the lower edge.

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#8 posted by bobk, July 9, 2008 3:46 AM

Enough coco puffs & beer and you won't need toast.

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Neat concept but all of the points and edges look to me like wear/scratch/bend opportunities. What could you put that on where it would stay in place without gouging 4 holes?

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