Bob Bassett’s Gas Mask Number 9 is the perfect BSDM accessory for the tongueless, toothless steampunk sex kitten I keep chained to my boiler. “Happy Birthday, Gertrude. I love you honey!” Design flaws appear to be a too-narrow mouth nozzle, although Bassett claims that Gas Mask Number 10 will address this flaw. In the meantime, connect a hose to it and use it to pump in tapioca pudding by the gallon until the excess spurts from the aural drainage shunts. Ah, Victorian l’amour, just like Professor Challenger used to have!
Update: Wouldn’t it just figure that steampunk connoisseur Cory over at the Mother Boing would beat me to it, although he wants it more as an objet d’art than as a practical item for spicing up a bachelor’s love life. Well, he’s a respectable family man these days, so who can blame him?