Duke Nukem Trilogy is the best E3 trailer ever made
Eleven years after first announcing the still-in-development sequel to Duke Nukem 3D, Duke Nukem Forever, 3D Realms has learned absolutely no lessons whatsoever about announcing products too early. And for that the blogging world thanks them: 3D Realms is like the half-naked fat kid who face plants himself, over and over again, trying to emulate professional wrestlers by leaping off his roof in his underpants.
The trailer they showed at E3 for the supposedly forthcoming Duke Nukem Trilogy takes the cake, though. What do you do when you announce not one but three separate titles and have nothing to show? Four minutes of vintage Bobby Prince, game logos, 90's era stock art and Duke Nukem crotch zooms!
The geniuses over at POETV extend pineal glands backwards in time and listened in on the feverish creative session that gave us this masterpiece:
"Guys! We need a trailer for E3, and all we have are an arrange of grabbag.mid and 11025hz voice clips!"
"No problemo! I got a shitload of images of guys in gas masks!"
This is the Spinal Tap of E3 trailers, only it's totally serious. God bless you, 3D Realms.
the latest
latest episodes
dude,
didn't you see the freakin "bullet through the glass" special effect?
Huh? Didn't you SEE IT MAN?
Cripes what does a company have to do to impress you people anymore?
Serious? I think not. Genius, I say yes.
The f*ck? Someone was showing this with a straight face at E3? :brainexplodes:
haha, that was the biggest turd i ever did see.
Cracking on the money assessment of that ridiculous rubbish - either the last-minute team leader's desperate surge of midnight effort to put SOMETHING out there, or the work of a brilliantly ironic marketing guru who's tapped into a whole new direction for society.
End result: Unwatchable, indigestible, repetitive rubbish. Oh boy.
Piece of cake !
If Duke Nukem 3D didn't exist we would have to create him.
Blip beat me to it. Best. Trailer. Ever.
Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger gas mask mask mask
I'm beginning to think they're leading us on.
20 years from now there will still be no Duke Nukem 3D and everyone will be like, "dude, what the hell?" and they'll be like, "Gotcha! Dude, you totally fell for it!"
I particularly like the masturbatory stylings of that guitarist in the theme song.
I really hope someone got fired for that blunder
I can't tell to what extent this is a joke.
This puts me in mind of nothing so much as the clichéd book report on an unread book. Now we just need a clip of a annoyed fourth grade teacher saying, "Thank you, 3D Realms. You can sit down now."
this was a GAME trailer?
there wasn't even one frame of gameplay in that video.
i'm glad their design team didn't take 11 years to get the logos done.
and, yeah, those were some self-touching guitar licks.
that fat kid's face must hurt after planting it into the pavement for 11 years...
@Erzatsen: Have you seen a game TRAILER lately? A lot of them are pre-rendered CG with very little actual gameplay.
i don't actually see a lot of game trailers. i play on a mac, and there are not as many titles and trailers for me to look at. the last one i saw was for Fallout 3, and my pants are still small.
and, speaking of 11 years, the first Fallout came out 11 years ago, and has had a sequel and a spin-off, and a threequel ACTUALLY COMING, with a trailer that includes a satisfying and sexy bit of real gameplay. in the same time that Duke Nukem: Whatever has been in "dev".
and, yeah, i know that FO3 is not gonna be for mac.
:P
This just drips with awesome juice. It's one of those things that it's almost impossible to believe exists.
Wow.. they showed this at the E3?. I wonder if this was a joke/real/statement/ or all of them together in one surreal sentence.
wow...
This is misunderstood. This "trailer" is hilarious, but it's for Duke Nukem Trilogy, a portable game for PSP/DS:
http://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/14/apogee-returns-from-dead-to-bring-new-duke-nukem-to-handhelds/
Duke Nukem Forever, the long-in-development title, didn't show anything at E3 as far as I've seen from the coverage.
Different games.
@#17 erzatsen:
While you're right about Fallout, it doesn't drive the point home nearly as well as the thorough cataloging of game releases compiled on the Duke Nukem Forever list:
http://duke.a-13.net/
"I'm sorry, what was that trailer for, something about nuclear?"
I think those Duke Nukem guys have to create a trailer for E3 every year, just like that one. It will be the new injoke of the games industry, it will at least replace the last injoke of Duke Nukem 3D will be out real soon now. Its so tired that we need something new to snicker about.
Like Moby Dick, the work of the Italian Futurists, and GZA/Genius' Liquid Swords album, you get something new from this trailer every time you watch it.
Truly, it is art of the highest order.
This trailer is chiseled from a block of pure win.
If they had shown as much as a SECOND of gameplay, the whiners would have won. Instead we get smoking bullet holes, pistols having flamegasms, ONE crotch shot (held just long enough to show the logo on the belt buckle!) a fissioning atom, and INFINITE LOGO REPETITION! That's for YOU, whining FANBOYS! YA GOTTA WAIT!!!
3D Realms has perfected the art of customer abuse. I can hardly wait for the DRM.
Anyone want to take any bets as to which will come out first? This trilogy, or G'n'R's Chinese Democracy (which is also apparently might also be a trilogy now)?
I lost it. For like fifteen minutes. I even watched it twice.
You all seem to have missed the point. This was NOT the trailer for Duke Nukem Forever. This was a trailer for a completely different project, a Duke Nukem Trilogy for the Nintendo DS and Sony PSP. Don't use this trailer as the basis for more slams against Duke Nukem Forever, they aren't even coming from the same company.
Ah, the E3. And Duke Nukem, bless'im.
Sometimes I wonder if there are still people around who played the game or if the only thing the title is known for is "being in development" aka "longest gaming industry joke".
Even the E3 injokes seem a bit lame nowadays, just like the E3 is not quite what it used to be. So sad.
#10, #22 - Duke Nukem 3D came out in 1996. It's Duke Nukem Forever that's been in development for so many years.
The YouTube video doesn't do this justice, it is best seen in HD: http://www.gametrailers.com/game/9201.html
Is it some kind of ironic statement to embed this low-res version of the trailer rather than the one at gametrailers.com which is not only the source of the video but is also shown in the beginning of the video? http://www.gametrailers.com/player/36746.html
#20...
That link is exactly a million times as awesome as the blog post it's in the comments of. I can't stop reveling in the snark!
I think it climaxed about here:
"Things that have taken less time than Duke Nukem Forever's Development:
...
World War II and the entire Manhattan Project. Yes, even the complete development of the atomic bomb took less time."
It's like a Powerthirst commercial! I love it!
I don´t know you guys...but that subliminal shit made me wanna buy that trilogy...
I mean...RIGHT NOW!
I need it!!
...gonna watch again.
I'm with #10. This has to be a put on.
"Come on, man! We're not even working on this game any more!"
"That's what makes it even better!"
"But this is just cheesy!"
"Hahahahahahaha! YES!"
That was gameplay footage! Much of the game will consist of shooting at logos.
Do you know what's REALLY sad? The music is NOT grabbag.mid. It's a rendition of it that 2 years ago a fan played with his electric guitar and put online here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-y0MdPXslo
And Apogee just STOLE IT!!!
Please, I want to ask the author of this "news" to update his post with CORRECT INFORMATION.
The trailer wasn't made by 3D REALMS AT ALL. I repeat IT WAS NOT MADE BY 3DREALMS. And no, It's not the same Apogee that you think, it's a newly made apogee, Apogee LLC which is a different company than 3DREALMS.
The trailer is a new for 3drealms as it was for us users, ok? Inform yourself before spreading misinformed accusations.
And last but not least, that is far from being a random midi file, it's a complete rearrangement made by Chris Kline AKA "Vertexguy". Check out his video on youtube and you'll see he performed recently at a videogames convention.
Please, I want to ask the author of this "news" to update his post with CORRECT INFORMATION.
The trailer wasn't made by 3D REALMS AT ALL. I repeat IT WAS NOT MADE BY 3DREALMS. And no, It's not the same Apogee that you think, it's a newly made apogee, Apogee LLC which is a different company than 3DREALMS.
The trailer is a new for 3drealms as it was for us users, ok? Inform yourself before spreading misinformed accusations.
And last but not least, that is far from being a random midi file, it's a complete rearrangement made by Chris Kline AKA "Vertexguy". Check out his video on youtube and you'll see he performed recently at a videogames convention.
Looks like your basic youtube fanvideo to me.
Self-deprecating marketing for Duke Nukem Forever.
"God bless you, 3D Realms."
.....You're FAILED to recognize the different about Apogee LLC and 3DRealms...
Epic failed again. :P