Finally! An inexpensive technological solution for the otaku compulsively driven towards the molestation of thyroidal, liliputian lolitas. The “Cyber Figure Alice” by Geisha Tokyo Entertainment comes in the form of a tiny “cybercube”, which looks something like Apple’s minute recreation of the Lament Configuration. Point a webcam at the cube and Alice herself — a demure anime maid of indeterminate pubertal status — is displayed on your computer screen in animated three-dimensions.
Of course, that’s not the real fun. Also included in the package are two “cyber sticks” which can be used to manipulate Alice in assorted ways. The ad copy encourages users to “touch her!” and “peep!” but this is all foreplay to the main event: using the tiny USB chopsticks to peel away Alice’s frillery, item by item, like layers from sushi.
It certainly has the panache of perversion, but I still think this is pretty neat. I wish someone would apply this same technology to a concept that doesn’t involve groping a virtual nine year old. I’m thinking a miniature dinosaur or tiny virtual robot you can feed and play with through your web-cam. Or — genius! — an official tie-in with Spore: create your alien in the Creature Creator. No need to send me a check, EA… just make it happen.