The Periodic Coffee Table

The Periodic Coffee Table offered by Element Connection for a jaw-dropping £4,750 ($9,463) is a fantastically nerdy idea — a coffee-table display case for samples of all existing stable elements — but they really wussed out on the radioactives, replacing them instead with empty spaces labeled with nuclear decay symbology. Weak sauce. I want to feel my coffee table in my eye teeth.

And, come to think of it, I think I’d rather have a coffee table of fictitious elements anyway: Adamantium, Carbonite, Diamondillium, Froonium, Gundanim Alloy, Unobtanium and Wonderflonium (do not bounce).

The Periodic Coffee Table [Element Collection via Born Rich]

1. [MarlboroTestMonkey7]

   Trulee: Every schoolboy knows krypton gas is made out of kryptonite.

2. [Anonymous]

   Yeah, Theodore Grey did this ages ago. Nothing to see here, please move on…

3. [Anonymous]

   what about atmospherium

4. [enolagray]

   What about Congohelium?
   Oh yeah, and Cavorite. And Corbomite.
   And Illudium Phosdex.

5. [Trulee Pist]

   Kryptonite

6. [zikman]

   and one atom of jumbonium!

7. [SofaMan]

   Don’t forget Cybertronium and Dalekanium!

8. [Jake0748]

   Don’t forget dilithium. (Hopefully in crystal form).

9. [tomhannen]

   I was really hoping this would be a period table of coffee, not a coffee table showing the periodic table..

   I had visions of little compartments each with a different shade of brown beans in them, nicely laid out in a grid formation based on bitterness, and caffeine strength…

   Ah, well. Maybe they’d customise me one like that.

10. [dculberson]

    I’d want mine to be the periodic table of candy elements. Chocolatium, yumm!

    http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/The_Periodic_Table_of_Candy_Elements

11. [stupidjerk]

    I demand shit to spend my money on so I can fill my apartment with STUFF!

12. [clueless in brooklyn]

    Formost: It’s an ugly table.

13. [Dan Blum]

    Have you seen Theodore Gray’s Periodic Table Table?

14. [Anonymous]

    You forgot Expensivium to with the Unobtainium (they are both 1960′s aerospace materials).

15. [gilowyn]

    I want Bloodymindium! And all of the other Pratchett elements… man, I want to live on Discworld. And I’m a girl… how nerdy is that?

16. [eustace]

    Finding atmospherium would be quite a trick. But when you consider what it would mean to science – it could mean actual advances in the field of science!

17. [monstrinho_do_biscoito]

    i demand candium, vomitarium and caesarium in my table

18. [dw_funk]

    Yeah, there’s something like this at my university. It has a few of the radioactive elements, behind radiation shields or something. You stop paying attention to it after a while, mostly because behind it is a real chemistry lab with dangerous things to play with.

    http://www.depauw.edu/acad/chemistry/periodictable.asp

19. [Joel Johnson]

    I demand pie!

20. [strider_mt2k]

    Is there nothing Tom Leher can’t do?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmwlzwGMMwc

21. [nabokovsnose]

    You forgot Vibranium!

22. [Anonymous]

    When I read “eye teeth” I almost wet myself.

    I haven’t laughed outloud today…thanks!

23. [stend]

    there’s something like this at the newly renovated griffith observatory in LA, and it is BEAUTIFUL – unlike this table.

    http://www.griffithobservatory.org/exhibits/bhallofsky.html