The Periodic Coffee Table

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The Periodic Coffee Table offered by Element Connection for a jaw-dropping £4,750 ($9,463) is a fantastically nerdy idea — a coffee-table display case for samples of all existing stable elements — but they really wussed out on the radioactives, replacing them instead with empty spaces labeled with nuclear decay symbology. Weak sauce. I want to feel my coffee table in my eye teeth.

And, come to think of it, I think I’d rather have a coffee table of fictitious elements anyway: Adamantium, Carbonite, Diamondillium, Froonium, Gundanim Alloy, Unobtanium and Wonderflonium (do not bounce).

The Periodic Coffee Table [Element Collection via Born Rich]

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23 Responses to The Periodic Coffee Table

  1. MarlboroTestMonkey7 says:

    Trulee: Every schoolboy knows krypton gas is made out of kryptonite.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Yeah, Theodore Grey did this ages ago. Nothing to see here, please move on…

  3. Anonymous says:

    what about atmospherium

  4. enolagray says:

    What about Congohelium?
    Oh yeah, and Cavorite. And Corbomite.
    And Illudium Phosdex.

  5. Trulee Pist says:

    Kryptonite

  6. zikman says:

    and one atom of jumbonium!

  7. SofaMan says:

    Don’t forget Cybertronium and Dalekanium!

  8. Jake0748 says:

    Don’t forget dilithium. (Hopefully in crystal form).

  9. tomhannen says:

    I was really hoping this would be a period table of coffee, not a coffee table showing the periodic table..

    I had visions of little compartments each with a different shade of brown beans in them, nicely laid out in a grid formation based on bitterness, and caffeine strength…

    Ah, well. Maybe they’d customise me one like that.

  10. dculberson says:

    I’d want mine to be the periodic table of candy elements. Chocolatium, yumm!

    http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/The_Periodic_Table_of_Candy_Elements

  11. stupidjerk says:

    I demand shit to spend my money on so I can fill my apartment with STUFF!

  12. clueless in brooklyn says:

    Formost: It’s an ugly table.

  13. Anonymous says:

    You forgot Expensivium to with the Unobtainium (they are both 1960′s aerospace materials).

  14. gilowyn says:

    I want Bloodymindium! And all of the other Pratchett elements… man, I want to live on Discworld. And I’m a girl… how nerdy is that?

  15. eustace says:

    Finding atmospherium would be quite a trick. But when you consider what it would mean to science – it could mean actual advances in the field of science!

  16. monstrinho_do_biscoito says:

    i demand candium, vomitarium and caesarium in my table

  17. dw_funk says:

    Yeah, there’s something like this at my university. It has a few of the radioactive elements, behind radiation shields or something. You stop paying attention to it after a while, mostly because behind it is a real chemistry lab with dangerous things to play with.

    http://www.depauw.edu/acad/chemistry/periodictable.asp

  18. Joel Johnson says:

    I demand pie!

  19. strider_mt2k says:

    Is there nothing Tom Leher can’t do?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmwlzwGMMwc

  20. nabokovsnose says:

    You forgot Vibranium!

  21. Anonymous says:

    When I read “eye teeth” I almost wet myself.

    I haven’t laughed outloud today…thanks!

  22. stend says:

    there’s something like this at the newly renovated griffith observatory in LA, and it is BEAUTIFUL – unlike this table.

    http://www.griffithobservatory.org/exhibits/bhallofsky.html

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