The Periodic Coffee Table

The Periodic Coffee Table offered by Element Connection for a jaw-dropping £4,750 ($9,463) is a fantastically nerdy idea — a coffee-table display case for samples of all existing stable elements — but they really wussed out on the radioactives, replacing them instead with empty spaces labeled with nuclear decay symbology. Weak sauce. I want to feel my coffee table in my eye teeth.

And, come to think of it, I think I'd rather have a coffee table of fictitious elements anyway: Adamantium, Carbonite, Diamondillium, Froonium, Gundanim Alloy, Unobtanium and Wonderflonium (do not bounce).

The Periodic Coffee Table [Element Collection via Born Rich]

[#1 posted by monstrinho_do_biscoito , July 24, 2008 6:18 AM]

i demand candium, vomitarium and caesarium in my table

[#2 posted by Joel Johnson , July 24, 2008 6:20 AM]

I demand pie!

[#3 posted by strider_mt2k , July 24, 2008 6:21 AM]

Is there nothing Tom Leher can't do?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmwlzwGMMwc

[#4 posted by nabokovsnose , July 24, 2008 6:23 AM]

You forgot Vibranium!

[#5 posted by enolagray , July 24, 2008 7:49 AM]

What about Congohelium?
Oh yeah, and Cavorite. And Corbomite.
And Illudium Phosdex.

[#6 posted by Trulee Pist , July 24, 2008 7:59 AM]

Kryptonite

[#7 posted by Jake0748 , July 24, 2008 8:17 AM]

Don't forget dilithium. (Hopefully in crystal form).

[#8 posted by dculberson , July 24, 2008 8:43 AM]

I'd want mine to be the periodic table of candy elements. Chocolatium, yumm!

http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/The_Periodic_Table_of_Candy_Elements

[#9 posted by clueless in brooklyn , July 24, 2008 8:48 AM]

Formost: It's an ugly table.

[#10 posted by Dan Blum , July 24, 2008 9:02 AM]

Have you seen Theodore Gray's Periodic Table Table?

[#11 posted by MarlboroTestMonkey7 , July 24, 2008 10:24 AM]

Trulee: Every schoolboy knows krypton gas is made out of kryptonite.

[#12 posted by Anonymous , July 24, 2008 1:21 PM]

Yeah, Theodore Grey did this ages ago. Nothing to see here, please move on...

[#13 posted by stupidjerk , July 24, 2008 2:09 PM]

I demand shit to spend my money on so I can fill my apartment with STUFF!

[#14 posted by dw_funk , July 24, 2008 3:27 PM]

Yeah, there's something like this at my university. It has a few of the radioactive elements, behind radiation shields or something. You stop paying attention to it after a while, mostly because behind it is a real chemistry lab with dangerous things to play with.

http://www.depauw.edu/acad/chemistry/periodictable.asp

[#15 posted by zikman , July 24, 2008 5:20 PM]

and one atom of jumbonium!

[#16 posted by stend , July 24, 2008 10:16 PM]

there's something like this at the newly renovated griffith observatory in LA, and it is BEAUTIFUL - unlike this table.

www.griffithobservatory.org/exhibits/bhallofsky.html

[#17 posted by Anonymous , July 25, 2008 12:15 AM]

what about atmospherium

[#18 posted by SofaMan , July 25, 2008 1:38 AM]

Don't forget Cybertronium and Dalekanium!

[#19 posted by tomhannen , July 25, 2008 3:09 AM]

I was really hoping this would be a period table of coffee, not a coffee table showing the periodic table..

I had visions of little compartments each with a different shade of brown beans in them, nicely laid out in a grid formation based on bitterness, and caffeine strength...

Ah, well. Maybe they'd customise me one like that.

[#20 posted by gilowyn , July 25, 2008 5:37 AM]

I want Bloodymindium! And all of the other Pratchett elements... man, I want to live on Discworld. And I'm a girl... how nerdy is that?

[#21 posted by eustace , July 25, 2008 6:42 AM]

Finding atmospherium would be quite a trick. But when you consider what it would mean to science - it could mean actual advances in the field of science!

[#22 posted by Anonymous , July 26, 2008 9:16 PM]

When I read "eye teeth" I almost wet myself.

I haven't laughed outloud today...thanks!

[#23 posted by Anonymous , July 28, 2008 10:00 PM]

You forgot Expensivium to with the Unobtainium (they are both 1960's aerospace materials).