Forget the best or worst. When it comes to video game intros, the real art is found in bad taste, lunacy and maniacal incompetence. While it's common to see playful kitsch in the movies that introduce games--perhaps a sign of a maturing medium--it's the unintentional fruit that tastes sweetest. Soul Edge "A tale of souls and swords, eternally retold," the narrator says. And then the music begins. To love! To shine! We all need to shine on, to see how far we've come on our journey/How far yet to go-oh-oh-oh! Pit Fighter Everything memorable about 1980s martial arts culture, in 30 seconds. Final Fight CD Newly elected mayor and former streetfighter takes on crime – with the gravitas of an Interflora sales rep. "Hello, Mike Haggar here!" Megarace 2 Humor that fails so hard it creates a wormhole right back to success. And when you're done with Lance Boyle in English, get him in German. Deus Ex In the future, everyone in government will wear leather three-piece suits and discuss plans for world domination like antidepressed house-husbands sharing their experiences with irritable bowel syndrome. Bonus: A bomb! Quarantine One is not a badass until one has eaten a lettuice and tomato breakfast bagel. Metal Combat "The oil came alive. The sludge oil came aliiiiiive. Big greasy sludge oil was pissed off," etc. Resident Evil "Have you found it yet?" "No, I haven't found it yet." Einhander In the grim future of video toaster city, people will notice that things may be "Einhander-shaped." System Shock 1:40 a.m. – Hacker visits lavatory. "There may be a neural-grade interface in it for you!" If you've got a suggestion for the Salon de la me... Fine. Fine. Here's Zero Wing: Add your favorite in the comments!