Bad-ass tape dispenser
Designers Daniel Black and Martin Blum were raised in the hardscrabble pre-apocalyptic landscape of London's financial district, where an extra drawing pin or fountain pen cartridge can mean the difference between life and death. On Holborn's mean streets, it is not enough to merely possess a tape dispener: it must be worthy of Churchill, of Caratacus, of Britannia herself. Its enclosed adhesive tongue may seal the envelopes and repair the documents that gird trillion-pound transactions, but its destiny is to unravel to nothing but a curiously furry cardboard ring. But always shall there be the dispenser, instrument of brutal weight, immortal, cast to stove heads and prepend the infinite.
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From Stettin in the Baltic to Trieste in the Adriatic an "iron tape dispenser" has descended across the Continent.
Colonel Mustard in the study with the tape dispenser
I used to have a tape dispenser. One day a lump of concrete with some felt glued to it fell out the bottom, and it was never the same. I played a lament on my recorder and said goodbye.
Wow, the text emblazoned on the side really sucks. A simple "black+blum" might have been a wiser choice.
Everything else about this is lovely, though. I've always appreciated the weight of early-mid 20th C. office equipment. Tools that require a half-tonne oak desk to support them.
Sixty quid for a tap dispenser!?!?!? I really question Design Within Reaches' name when they sell stuff like this. I know steel prices are through the roof right now, but that thing can't cost more than $5 to make.
It's As much as people like to bad mouth Ikea, they really do offer design within reach. Yes, they have a lot of stuff that it total crap, but they do offer a lot of solidly build good furniture.
I'm sure a machine that dispenses taps would pay for itself quickly, even if it did cost £60.
Sorry, not butch enough. The tape dispenser of my dreams and nightmares would be forged of black steel and diamondplate in the fires of an Icelandic volcano by a mighty hammer that could pass for Mjolnir itself. Its tape-severing mechanism, of a complicated and threatening design, would have at its heart the lower jaw of Rondo Hatton. Strong men, men who fancy themselves to be movers and shakers, would reach out to take a bit of tape, then jerk their hands back, not sure if they'd get to keep their hands. Their eyes would plead silently as the stench of fear rose off them, and I'd sneer and go back to my blog reading. Crudely welded to the side, in letters formed by nails from Sid Vicious' coffin, would be the motto: "Red staplers are for losers."
Oh, and I'd also like some Post-Its made from human skin, especially if there are tattoos still on 'em.
@Halloween Jack: Would you like the standard blood adhesive Post-Its, the heavy-duty fatty tissue notes, or the productivity chain of entrails?
I'd offer the pad of backflesh with bone easel, but Gitmo bought 'em all.
I think it's an excellent idea. Haven't you guys ever wrapped a present? You're standing there with one hand holding down the paper and with the other hand trying to get a piece of sticky tape. So you have to clench the tapeholder between your teeth or thighs to get one, otherwise you will only lift it up. The alternative is to start out preparing short strips and sticking them with one end to the table, but those always fold and get stuck to the table entirely.
@#2 zuzu, my thought exactly upon seeing this tape dispenser... cryptonomicon ftw!