Erotic chess set for the Bacchalian en passant

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Chess has traditionally been a man’s game. Smelling of coffee, snuff and dandruff, two bearded warriors meet in the parlor to match tactical might. In such times, an erotic chessboard would have been met with disapproval: there would have been no interest in fanning the flames of competition into an orgiastic appeasement of lust, in which the triumph of “Checkmate” is replaced with a shouted climax of a far more primal kind.

But times have changed. Chess nowadays? Well… let’s face it. It’s full of babes. Time to put the carnality back into castling. The Antique Erotic chess set eschews the usual abstractions of nobility for Sartyr-esque depictions of perversion. A knight becomes a man buggering a goat. A bishop? A midget riding a winged, ostrich-like penis.

No price, but the sets are supposedly made of ivory. Expect to stagger.

Erotic Chess Set [Chess.su via Nerd Approved]

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24 Responses to Erotic chess set for the Bacchalian en passant

  1. Anonymous says:

    The original of the satyr with a nanny goat was found at Pompeii – http://www.flickr.com/photos/44124324682@N01/2110944578/
    (Not my photo, but I’ve seen it in Naples museum.)

    I’m guessing the others are based on classical statues too. (One appears to be Leda and the swan.)

  2. coop says:

    #8 Kint

    Don’t just look at the pretty pictures! From the article here on the page…

    “A knight becomes a man buggering a goat.”

  3. SamF says:

    @#7:I had no idea that Murray Head was Anthony Head’s (Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer) big brother.

    The things you learn when you visit Wikipedia to find out “whatever happened to that guy who wrote One Night in Bangkok”.

  4. Garr says:

    Holy crap I think I’d actually buy one of these… though it might be hard to tell which piece is which.
    p.s. Wow, I just read that they’re real ivory. Now that could be a good or a bad thing…

  5. montauk says:

    Great. Times have changed – it’s not just men playing anymore – it’s hot women!

    Times haven’t changed if this is still the prevailing attitude. Where is a post that says, “Chess is traditionally a game dominated by nerds. But wait! Now it’s not just gangly nerds, it’s hot men! Here’s a gallery of hot male chess players!”

    I mean, is the only merit to women playing chess that guys can ogle them?

    And I don’t understand the link, joking or not, between “more women play chess than before” and “here’s a pornulated chess set”.

    I mean, the chess set looks cool, but wtf?

  6. SamF says:

    Knight jumps queen!

    Bishop jumps queen!

    Pawns jump queen!

    Gang bang!

  7. kiint says:

    lol theres even a guy having sex with a goat (or is it a deer?)

  8. Anumati says:

    This makes me want to play chess. I hope it is mammoth ivory though.

  9. Hanglyman says:

    Wow, these are really surreal… a cherub riding a winged penis with a lion’s hind legs and its own penis, a guy jerking off with one hand and covering his face in shame with the other, a man balancing what appears to be a giant cupcake on his erect dick, a woman getting head from a fish… it’s not erotic so much as just bizarre. And awesome.

  10. Anonymous says:

    isn’t ivory banned? because of… you know, the whole poaching of elephants thing?

  11. Rob Beschizza says:

    What better excuse to explore the major openings.

  12. MarlboroTestMonkey7 says:

    Full of babes indeed!

  13. Stitch says:

    A bartender at my local actually wrote 2 books on chess. So I guess you can never know which beautiful woman is a lot better at chess than you thought. It’s not a man’s world any more.

  14. muteboy says:

    Ivory huh? Did they get all the blood off?

    That said, apparently when the pawn “goes all the way” he “turns into a queen”, and the queen “goes in all directions”.

    #1 you could write on them with a Sharpie.

  15. Anonymous says:

    “If women are present, add porn” pisses me the hell off. In much of the US it’s still a strong no-girls marker, and even on the Left Coast the implication that we’re in it to be seξay is braindead.

  16. guy_jin says:

    Made of Ivory? is that even legal?

  17. semiotix says:

    Two things I noticed in my careful, careful perusal and downloading of those pictures…

    First, at least some of the goatfucking is being done by a satyr (i.e., a half-man half-goat) which makes it a little less outrageous. (Why does BB’s spellcheck not like “goatfucking”? Is it supposed to be hyphenated?)

    Second, that winged penis that the cherub is riding? Has a penis of its own. Brilliant.

  18. semiotix says:

    Oops, #14 already noticed the penis with a penis. Still, it’s awesome enough that it bears mentioning again. And now I’ve gotten to type the word “penis” three more times, which makes me giggle like a schoolgirl… with a penis of her own. Brilliant.

  19. Nelson.C says:

    #17: BB has a spellcheck?

  20. strider_mt2k says:

    …I would invite you, but the queens we use would not excite you…

    I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine.

  21. Ceronomus says:

    The idea that mammoth ivory has been turned into a man buggering a goat sort of saddens me. But hey, its all personal taste I suppose.

  22. Mindpowered says:

    If it’s Russian it’s probably Mammoth Ivory from Siberia.

  23. Frank_in_Virginia says:

    Oh boy! Not a good idea to click on the BB Gadgets link with this at the top of the page while at work.

  24. Halloween Jack says:

    Site is busted; can’t get in. Le sigh.

    WRT ivory and the legality thereof: elephant ivory, the situation is complicated; mammoth ivory, completely legal.

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