From Gremlins to your doorstep, the Smokeless Ashtray

There's worse ideas for a business than to lift inventions from Gremlins' Randall Peltzer wholesale. With a futuristic hemispheric design, the Ionic Smokeless Ashtray uses ions and ohms and magic to eliminate cigarette smoke. According to the copy, "smoke is broken down into minute, negatively-charged particles which are then captured by the positively-charged stainless steel lining of the dome" which results only in a pleasant spurt of fresh air and perhaps a wisp or two of residual arsenic gas. Technology! Only $19.99, so pay for one out of your house's monthly Febreeze budget. Ionic Ashtray [Collections Etc. via book of joe]
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10 Responses to From Gremlins to your doorstep, the Smokeless Ashtray

  1. muteboy says:

    The smoking room at Granada TV rentals in Bedford in 1995 was a shabby portacabin outside the office with brown sticky walls and no ventilation, and after midday you didn’t need to spark up when you went in.

  2. Halloween Jack says:

    Collections Inc. (which sounds more like a debt collections agency) has as their website subtitle: “Almost everything $19.99 or less!” Sounds like another entry in the Crapvendor list.

  3. Binaryloop says:

    Works great while your cig is under the dome. Of course when you pull it out and take a drag and blow a giant cloud of smoke into the air around you… it doesn’t really help.

  4. Paula Wirth says:

    Or, a more effective and inexpensive way to deal with the smoke problem in your office: smoke outside. Works for most businesses these days.

  5. strider_mt2k says:

    Time and changing social thingies have made this an something of an anachronism.

    For some reason I thought of “The Rockford Files”, though there really isn’t a connection.

  6. kaiza says:

    Better yet: a vacuum powered filter system that goes directly over the death-stick. It’ll actually make you look even cooler than a normal smoker – especially if you use one of those wet industrial vacuums – because anyone walking in will think you are brazenly smoking the most badass, Geigeresque hookah ever.

  7. dainel says:

    Aeros smokeless cigarettes

    Or Snus from Sweeden

  8. Moon says:

    Just quit, already.


    No excuses. Just quit.

  9. gilowyn says:

    Useless unless I can actually get a large one to fit over my head.

    Which is pretty much what the smoking area at Dutch public tv looked like 3 years ago´: a 1x1m see-through cubicle in the middle of the hall with some sort of filter.

    Cubicle of shame and great way to get close to your colleagues all at once! Doubt they still have it, though, since the smoking laws were tightened so much.

  10. Anonymous says:

    The worrying part is where it says “puff of arsenic gas.” Does that sound even remotely dangerous to anyone?

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