Earlier this morning, an Apple R&D facility went up in flame, causing some portion of its 100-strong staff to evacuate the building. Over 66 firefighters rushed to the scene to put out the blaze. Early reports blame "faulty air conditioning." Our guess: faulty air conditioning on hot Cupertino day causes MacBook Air explosion, conflagration.
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When this happens at Dell the mainstream media NEVER covers it. Liberal bias my ass. I'm totally voting for Apply this November.
Apply...heh. Still kinda early here, sorry.
I think it was due to some super secret new Apple project.
The iFlamethrower. (marketing will probably change this to iBurnU)
Steve Jobs will announce it by saying "The iBurnU will drench your enemies in burning napalm, searing the flesh from their bones. You know what to do, my minions."
Mysterious fire breaks out at Apple R&D. Apple fansites immediately speculate as to the cause. Within two days, the tubes are alive with the most confirmed rumour yet: the flames were caused by the hot shockwave emitted upon the departure of Steve Jobs for a higher plane of existence.
"Think for a moment of the concept of the flamethrower..." by George Carlin
But really, someone turned on an old G5 is all.
Oh noez.. there goes the MacBook Tablet/iPhone Nano...
This is just a rumor, but I hear that rescue workers were met by a phalanx of lawyers, who demanded non-disclosure agreements be signed before they were allowed to put out the fire.
My wife tells me is really isn't an R&D building but SAP.
This means the next generation iPone won't be coming out till June '09.
The iBomb still has some kinks in it. It was supposed to destroy the R&D building entirely. Guess we'll have to wait for the iBomb 2.0 update.
It's a fire. It's a conflagration. It's a transformative burning device, and it starts at... $499.
Oh, and there is just One More Thingâ„¢...
[enormous ovation from the assembled crowd]
...the iFire kills. It kills bystanders, it kills firefighters, it kills anyone you can imagine killing. How about that? Let's watch this demo I cut together on iMovie....
Oh, duh... Steve was introducing the iRack!
Kinda makes the "kill switch" seem a bit more sinister...
I guess Steve Job's new Batmobile is still in alpha.
I'm sure the fire department's firehoses were more than outgunned by the Apple Lawyers' NDA hoses.
Personally I think something went terribly wrong when the Jobsian one was trying to renew his infernal contract with one of the Demon Lords (probably Baphomet or Dagon) of the Abyssal plane, and a Kobold probably got out of hand and set the place ablaze…..
+10 to geekin out
Faulty air conditioning as in overheated wiring, or as in flammable dust and lint accumulating in inaccessible places?
Every time an apple R and D building goes up in flames a blackberry gets it's wings.
Looks like Mr. Johnson needs to hire some better quality shadowrunners next time. Setting fire to the R&D facility to cover your tracks is a rookie move at best.
I'm betting on surplus Toshiba/Sony laptop batteries myself, or they were cooking breakfast on one of the original AppleIIs and the grease caught fire....
Looks like Job's brimstone belching portal to hell finally went public.
Now THAT'S a bad demo!
As Steve Jobs would say,
"Boom!"
I wonder if this is related to the shooting of an American "tourist" in Beijing, by an assassin who then "jumped" to his death. Never trust the mainstream media! Half the stories you read are covers for secret society operations. Who knows what nefarious plots that fire destroyed. We should all thank God it burned!