RFID shrines for graying Japan
A graying Japanese woman, injected with liquid Smilex at key muscular intersections, walks up to her husband's futuristic shrine, flashing an RFID chip at a card reader. Thirty seconds later, the entombed ashes of her late husband are brought up via elevator from the sepulchral Japanese netherworld. A translation of their conversation follows.
Woman: Husband!
Ashes: Wife! It is hell down there. The urns never stop weeping and screaming. Why won't you put me on your mantle?
Woman: I am sleeping with a new man now.
Ashes: You whore.
Woman: I am glad you are dead.
The technology that allows this post-mortem moment of marital fidelity: a space-saving RFID solution for automatically displaying your loved one's remains in the crowded shrines of Japan. Remains are stored in an underground vault, hiccoughed up for attractive ornamental display only when a loved one remembers you once existed and deigns to come for a visit.
Actually, a rather ingenious solution to the overcrowded, expensive shrines of a graying Japan, but I still personally have an affinity for the Lebowski method of corpse disposal.
Japanese Graves Use Technology for Limited Space [Trends in Japan]
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"... but I still personally have an affinity for the Lebowski method of corpse disposal. You mean, dragging your second-best surviving friend into the open and then dumping the dusty remains of your first-best friend all over him?
Yeah. Slightly over-romantic and dramatised, but... yeah.
btw: I don't quite see why they bother with RFIDs. Without wanting to sound morbid, and with all due respect, but they could simply display some random remains since there's hardly a way to distinguish one heap of ash from another, or is there?
Geez, how lame, sad & morbid is THAT? And why the hell does she look so happy?
There's an easy way to tell, simply by smelling. For best results, use just a small amount. Because it's important to inhale fully and deeply to get that rich aroma swirling inside your nasal cavity, separate a small quantity from the pile, then distribute into an even set of rows for clean nasal inhalation. A credit card possesses the ideal qualities for this task.
Apparently the police have used Keith Richards as an expert witness in cases involving the lawful ownership of cremated remains.
'I still personally have an affinity for the Lebowski method of corpse disposal'
Meh, just tranship 'em by way of the Denver Airport automated luggage-handling system. Poof! Problem solved.
And for those loved ones that aren't cremated:-
Animatronic endoskeletons that, when triggered by RFID, dig and claw their way up out of the earth!
Perhaps they should go with the Kenny/Cartman method, and mix your loved ones remains in with a jar of Nestle Quick. Then you and your loved one really can be together forever, plus you'll enjoy a tasty and vitamin packed treat!
Just buried my ex-husband. 60 people on a large boat sailed about 2 miles off-shore to pay their respects and to scatter his ashes in the ocean along with a bottle of Maker's Mark. Once we got back to shore we had a big party. We laughed, cried, ate, drank. Then one by one, people stepped up to the mike and "talked story" about all that was good about him. Everyone has a different way to handle grief. This ad was certainly odd for an american audience, but having lived in Japan, it only shows the quirky side of a people whose workday persona is highly controlled. I liked the ad.
So, this is a better solution because it saves space? What about not storing dead people at all? That saves a lot more space.
Dead people are dead. The money and land used to create and market this idea could be used for something like a school or housing for living people.
Also, how long until someone decides they don't want to leave their urn after the allotted time and manages to sneak aboard the dumbwaiter down into the catacombs below? And then make their own race of underground grave people.