Inspired by CERN and understanding the science behind the technology thanks to their suave nerdcore rap, you have cobbled together your own Large Hadron Collider out of spare vacuum cleaner parts in your garage. But how to operate the thing? There is no room for experimentation, lest early fumblings create an infinitely dense physical singularity, sucking in space time within several dozen parsecs, causing existence as you know it to come shrieking to a halt. And existing is basically all you do.
Good news, then: CERN have published their immence 1,589 LHC manual. I am printing it out, binding it and leaving it by my toilet for the excretionary edification of my guests.