Bedside condom dispenser shaves seconds off the least time consuming part of the condom application process
In the coital assembly line of love making, every second counts... a moment wasted is a moment in which one of the girls standing in the line that starts at the bed post might suddenly get sober. Yet the prophylacticization process takes so long: valuable time flushed down the toilet before its used, flaccid twin. A condom must be fished out of a drawer, torn open, turned inside out, applied. Surely, science can perfect the process.
Yet science has not. There is no robotic pneumonic cavity installed in the bedroom wall for automatic condom application. The spray-on condom remains MIA. In fact, all science and industry have managed to do to speed up the process is the Condo-M, a $28 Pez Dispenser of johnnies that merely saves the time one might spend rooting around in one's wallet for a non-mummified specimen, or rooting through the bathroom trash can for a "fresh enough" specimen.
I'm disappointed. So is Wired's Charlie Sorrel: "It makes your bachelor pad look like nothing so much as a pumping production line," he scorns. I don't follow.
Condo-M [Uncommon Goods via Gadget Lab]
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what, no wall mountings included? i already see it plunge when grabbing for it.
Fresh enough!
Gak!
I guess there are advantages to being married...
I prefer the model of condom dispenser that can apply the jimmy hat surreptitiously with her mouth, but I have to admit that those models cost more than $28.
Pshaw. We've got much better tech in South African.
Check it:
http://www.prontocondoms.co.za/
Watch the ads, they're fantastic
Why isn't it top dispensing (spring loaded) so one could easily and usefully keep it in a drawer?
The reason we jam the condoms into the drawer in the first place is so that they aren't blatantly advertised so (1) our date doesn't think we're a creep and (2) when our mother visits, *she* doesn't think we're a creep.
Does it also come with a wall-mounted lube dispenser too?
Classy.
I think there are some inherent flaws in more...complete prophylactic dispensers, which may prevent them from ever being made.
First off, any dispenser that would roll the condom on for you would either feel really good, or feel really bad. And when you've got a young lady waiting for you, either is probably not a good thing.
And the spray-on idea would just never work. It'd require a complete coverage to be effective, and seriously who's gonna take the time to make sure they haven't left any "leak spots" when they can just do a quick one-pass spray and get going.
As an alternative, I propose "condorwear". Condom + underwear. Wears like underwear, but with a built-in "sheath" in front. The sheath has a replaceable latex lining that acts as a condom, but is as easy to take off and put on as underwear. And in the heat of passion, you just take off your pants and you're ready to rock!
Almost as classy as the wall-mounted dispenser machine in the bathroom at the gas station.
#4: Wow, those condoms are awesome. Ehh, I never thought I'd say that.
I use a tray made by "Rubbermaid".
#4 AAHMYEYES: Wow! I mean ...Wow! Forget about the silly dispenser topic, the demo on that Pronto website is the real hot topic as far as I'm concerned.
Wanna talk about shaving off time?! THAT'S shaving off time!
I'd guess that for a large percentage of those who purchase this device, it would more appropriately be called a water balloon dispenser.
dangit! just after I bought this one ( https://www.canoeonline.net/shop/index.php?id=30)
now how am I supposed to compete with the 1,000+ frat boys at my fine institution of learning? QUALITY?
Heh, I went to lunch and thought up like 5 different super cool moves you could pull with "The Pronto" condom and this dispenser.
"Nobody snuggles with Max Power! You strap yourself in and feel the Gs!"
Ooohh!
a raincoat... in the shower
the only thing rivaling the awesomeness of this product is the awesomeness of the copy in this article...