Pounding its fists and shrieking, the Tantrum-Throwing Alarm Clock doubtless lives up to its name. The only mystery is its decibelage: combined with the throat of a Screaming Meanie, this thing could be a real beast.
It’s a Hammacher Schlemmer item, of course, that most high-end of crapvendors being the best place to demand $50 for an irritating clock. The description itself aggravates in its glibness and calm:
As your selected wake-up time approaches to within five minutes, its feet and body will begin to glow, and when the alarm sounds, it begins tapping its arms lightly, but if you are dilatory in touching its snooze sensor by more than one minute, it launches into its full tantrum routine and turns off after an hour of unabated whining.
It will relent briefly if you “pat” it on the head, says the anonymous copywriter, in a subtle invitation to the sort of physical action that will make it relent permanently.