This morning over a pre-dawn milchkaffee, I spent some time groggily playing with my iPhone, and stumbled — like many users before me — on the fantastic app PhotoSwap: a swell little program that allows you to trade one picture with a random stranger anywhere in the world. I took a picture of a millet-nomming parakeet, angrily muttering to himself about the hour, and was rewarded with a profile picture of a striking blonde, one hand obscuring her face. I replied (a neat little feature) by mimicking the same shot, and thus began a half hour international flirtation that finally ended in the taste of throw-up when my virtual girlfriend finally revealed herself as the floozily-conceived grandaughter of Lena the Hyena.
Never the less, I remain a fan of the program, and if you’ve used it this morning you can comfortably assume that any pictures you have received of sneezing budgerigars, cat buses or Cthulhus are from Gleimstrasse in Berlin. Needless to say, the temptation to snap a shot of my girded, glistening nethers is strong, but the horrible uncertainty that I might be rewarded with Monsieur Goatse.cx’s gaping rectum is enough to keep me in check.
Not so for many. An entire Flickr group has sprung up dedicated to NSFW PhotoSwap shots. There’s the usual assortment of sulfurous moon shots, a few oiled breasts, a rubbery schlong. It’s actually surprisingly uninteresting in an age of porn in which the only nudity still alien is pulsating, exposed musculature. More interesting and amusing is the SFW gallery, where gentlemen like the one to the right are on Katamari Damacy like display. I love you, King of Cosmos. You can share photos with me anytime.