My face goes white, my eyeballs bulge, my fists always clench when a house guest uses my laptop
I generally treat my guests fairly well: I give them my bed, I bring them pastry in the morning, I teach them the rules to two games of my own devising ("Is that a parakeet in your pocket?" and "What's in my mouth?") and I allow them a generous daily allowance of ten toilet paper squares. I like my guests to feel relaxed. I mother them and generally make it known that they are welcome to play with my toys, watch my television, pet my budgerigar, and drink all my beer.
But yesterday, as a guest sat on my couch and — without asking permission — suddenly grabbed my laptop to check his email, I realized I had one major complex: I hate it when people use my computers without permission.
In truth, there's nothing to worry about, or even to get so seized up about: if they ask to use my laptop, I will simply say "Yes" and give it no more thought. But the brazen, unsolicited boldness of grabbing my laptop and using it without a word irks. Moreover, it immediately spirals me into paranoia: did I leave PornHub.com up in Safari? Will they use this opportunity to search my email for incriminating mentions of their name? Will they charge Kid and Play's complete oeuvre to my iTunes account? Will they use my computer to send death threats to a major political candidate, or log-in to an alt.lolitas Usenet group?
The solution is simple, of course: I could simply get a visitor's laptop. It would actually be an excellent reason to pick up an Acer Aspire or a Dell Mini-Inspiron. But it's still an expensive solution for a non-problem: in truth, I'm not doing anything on my computers I wouldn't mind my friends knowing about. A floating flash video of Giannia Michaels mid-coitus is the worst that could be expected, and that's nothing amongst friends. But the psychological aspect of violated privacy still irks.
Am I alone here? I feel very uptight about it — when it happened yesterday, I immediately started gritting my teeth — but a laptop is private, a repository for a huge amount of personal information that one can only trust a visitor to use with consideration. That I trust my friends to do so isn't really what bothers me: I do. But I'd like a head nod that they've acknowledged that trust before they start alt-tabbing around.
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You are not the only one. My best friend - known each other 20 years, navigated the BBS and warez scenes together, taught each other to program, etc. etc. - flips a lid if I go anywhere near his mouse. Recently, during a screen-sharing video chat session, he freaked out when I moved the cursor slightly via remote.
Unfortunately, it appears to be a little contagious, because it now bothers me (although not to the same extent). My fiancee still gives me a hard time about how she's "not allowed" to use my computer, despite my capitulating years ago.
I'm the same, but I think it's just the very personal nature of a laptop - you know, that think that travels with you for much of the day, that you use in bed... – that engenders this feeling. I have a Mac and a PC in our spare room that folks are welcome to use (they have a guest account) at any time, and many of my friends would rather in any case just get my WPA password so they could hook up their own stuff.
I have the same problem... But I solved it on my machines- they will all log onto a limited guest if no login details are given within 30 seconds. It causes me a bit of hassle if I turn my box on and walk away, but it gives me the safe knowledge that someone who comes over can check their email without seeing my TERABYTES OF SHOCKING PR0N.
You're not remotely alone - I'm a paycheck away from getting a cheap guest laptop. To an extent it's more personal with laptops, but even my desktop is something I feel strongly about others using.
I have an account set up for The Lady on all my Macs so she can log in and use it, far away from my own account. I also flip my Mac back to the login screen when I step away.
And third, I keep all my porn in a separate user account so my Safari history remains clean in my main account.
Why don't you turn on the Guest Account on your MacBook Pro? Then they can do what they like and it all gets erased afterwards. Better still, create a spoof guest account with keyloggers installed. That way you have some "insurance" when you eventually have a falling out.
I know exactly how you feel - its the same with me. But there is a rather simple solution, which is actually sensible and secure!
Switch to the option , that you need to login. Then, create a second user with diminished rights, "Guest" or "People who use my laptop without poermisson" or something like that.
No history, no files, no worry.
Keep up the good work,
Greetings,
Bela Beier (Germany)
The point where a house guest becomes a house pest is different for everyone.
For me it's the moment they arrive.
I have a separate account on my desktop for my wife (it was mainly for when she was my fiancee and didn't live here with her own computer). I still get bothered when she wants to use my laptop (it's not really mine, belongs to my employer, but it's more or less mine until I leave).
Once I have a house and more space for guests, I will likely have a guest computer or a guest account on one of my computers, but never the laptop. That's off limits for guests.
Spent the weekend at the girlfriend's and every time I wanted to use the computer, I asked. What bothered me was she left her email app open. Not being too familiar with macs, when I went to open safari, I'd get a snapshot of her inbox. I think it's ok to disallow guests to use your computer if your honest about it being "a mess" and not configured for public use. I'd rather not google what popped into my head than have to keep asking to be directed around private stuff.
"Guests, like fish, begin to stink after 3 days"
- B. Franklin
You should always ask permission ANYWAY.
Just because it's a computer doesn't give anyone an excuse to be rude.
-and yes I do have a "guest" logon for guests on my primary desktop.
Otherwise, hands off my other machines man! :P
You are alone here. You invite a guest into your house, where you are basically trusting them not to violate you in your physical space, yet you freak out when they could potentially violate your electronic space? You need to get out man, have a beer in a bar, ride some public transportation, and generally re-adjust your social values.
...I mother them and generally make it known that they are welcome to play with my toys...
But you did give him permission. He probably assumed that the laptop was included with the toys he was welcome to play with.
I'm not saying I wouldn't have freaked out, too. Just that if you don't want a guest using something, you need to specifically exclude it from the allowed items.
I say it's pretty reasonable, your laptop is basically an extension of your brain.
Why not just password protect your laptop, that way when they need it, you have to log them in??
Assuming you're running Ubuntu on that thing, enable the guest user account, it solves all the problems you just described--keeps your private info private and erases all the traces of the guest once they log out, so there's no way they can mess anything up, change any settings, or save any embarassing web histories. You won't even have to log out either, there's a user switcher on the panel and at the screensaver. This is one of the things that Linux really excels at, IMO.
You're not alone. I am my data; my data is me. There isn't much rattling around in my brain that doesn't leave a trail on my laptop. Getting unmonitored access to my laptop is like getting the ability to read my mind. I don't even like my wife using my computer, even though there are no secrets between us.
Fast user switching. When guests are around, they have a guest account and I just switch to it whenever I'm done using the computer under my own account.
My best friend has a habit of using things without asking. He generally respects things as much as I do, and doesn't expect me to ask permission to use his stuff, but it STILL irks me for an instant when he grabs something of mine without asking.
Objectively, I can see that it's an irrational feeling (there must be a psychological name/explanation for this) - yet I can't help but be bothered when it does happen.
I have first hand experience at strangers using my computers and having them seriously wrecked afterwards. People who claim to be experienced with the assemblages of computers (comptia A+ no less) open them up without permission, and fry them. Its not so much the data that concerns me, its not having a computer after they are done.
Guest accounts do not protect against hardware damage. Guest computers kind of do, but then I worry about guests overusing my net connection, making even webpages slow to a freaking crawl when they find out that they can torrent gigs of traffic faster here than they can at their own place. Perhaps thats over protective but I don't think so.
You guys are doing it wrong!
Some years ago I decided that my laptops should be as anonymous and disposable as a paper cup.
I use a single password to access any particular laptop. I don't use that password for anything else ever again. I configure all the software to store everything on line, and I use gmail, and I wipe all my caches and temp files on every shutdown, and obviously I'm not retarded enough to ever save passwords on a machine.
If I lose a laptop, no big deal. If my employer repossesses or upgrades my laptop, no big deal. If I get a new laptop, I can hand mine to whoever I like without having to do anything to it. If TSA seizes my laptop, so what.
Don't have anything meaningful on your laptop other than software. If you must have localised data, put it on an encrypted thumb drive, they are dirt cheap, reliable and highly portable.
Try it, you'll like it. It's freeing!
PS: I run Ubuntu, personally; I used to run Red Hat linux before it morphed into Fedora lameness.
On the flip side, it's always fun to see a ton of adult dating sites when checking out a couples computer. Divorce is always a year away in such cases..
I know how to play What's In My Mouth?--but what are the rules of Is That a Parakeet in Your Pocket??
Search:
C:\
*.jpg
*.mov
*.wmv
stop wanking
It's not so much the privacy concern (although that is an issue- I've created guest accounts on my laptop) as it is I can't stand to watch the laptop be abused.
The laptop in our house is a 4 year old dell. It's a little rough around the edges, but it runs just fine for the glorified netbook that it is. But part of this is that we've actually kept decent care of it. Watching a guest grab my laptop with a can of Coke in one hand and typing with the other while the laptop is precariously balanced on their knee drives me absolutely batty.
A few weeks ago, a guest balanced the laptop on the arm of our couch while they were using it. I had to do some deep breathing to just not be petty and get irrationally crazy about it. Then they proceeded to knock the thing off the edge of the couch, causing it to have a hard landing on a corner, while the screen was open. I think I screamed a little bit.
I don't mind if people use my laptop, but I do like to have them ask permission first. The big peeve for me is if they install software or change settings. ACK! Would they repaint a room if they slept over for a few days??
It's actually a bit of a running joke with a good friend of mine. Every time he uses a computer, he has to change something. (ie, install VPN client to log in to his work, tweak network settings, etc.) If he uses my computer without changing anything, we both comment on it. Oh well, at least it works when he's done; he know what he's doing, it's just irritating.
I freak out a bit when people try to use my laptop. It is my livelihood. Also, who knows what SSH/SFTP sessions I have open, what huge PSD I'm in the middle of saving, or which entire folder of porn AVIs I've accidentally opened?
Computers, for people who use them professionally, are tools which have been worn into a specific job. You wouldn't use an upholsterer's hammer to put a framing nail in a wall. You certainly wouldn't do so without first asking permission to use the tool.
I tried explaining this to my girlfriend once, comparing it to somebody getting in your car and adjusting the seat, mirrors, etc. They may never feel right again. The comparison was lost on her, as she works for a rental car company and rarely spends more than a few minutes in any given vehicle. She certainly doesn't become familiar with them.
To solve the problem, I created a guest account on my old 12" PBook. My MacBook is password protected. Occasionally someone will ask to use that one, if the PBook isn't handy. Since they asked nicely, I'll usually let them. I have two rules: Use Safari (I use FF for most of my web-dev work) and no MySpace. Facebook is fine; it is a far superior technology.
@#9: It really irks me when people use my computers and don't terminate their sessions on email/social sites.
on Mac -> System preferences -> security -> Require password to wake this computer from or screensaver.
create "visitor" account where your guests can login from the screen saver instead of yours.
Also in screen saver preferences make one screen corner "hot" so that you can "secure" your machine just moving mouse pointer to screen corner, starting screen saver and prompting for password.
You should own the complete works of Kid N' Play, I thought everyone did.
I actually cannot relate to this at all, as my friends will ask to use anything remotely expensive that has the potential to break even when I verbally give them the run of the house. Besides, if this person needs to check their email while sitting at their friend's house while chiefin' down bong rips and shootin' the shit that badly, what are they doing without a smartphone-type gadget anyway?
Maybe buy a twelve pack of Peeks and throw them at offending houseguests. Now you have a third game to play!
I'm pretty much the same way. If someone asks to use my laptop (which is always on a little ikea tv tray style desk at the corner of the couch) I'll happily oblige, but if they just jump on it, it's akin to them grabbing stuff out of the fridge before asking. I have a guest laptop for this as well, an old ibook that also doubles as a kitchen laptop for recipes and online grocery shopping. I can just hand my guests the laptop and tell them to go to town.
Just put it away when you've got company, and if somebody really needs to use a laptop, they can ask for one. Problem solved.
Well, if you have a mac/apple notebook, the threat to the hardware is nil, as in "nothing ventured, nothing lost." Let your guest bounce the little toy against the walls; with enough box tops, you can get another one. IF, on the other hand, you have a Windows/Intel/AMD based notebook (see also: REAL Computers) then you do have valuable hardware, not to mention data, at stake.
The Answer is a simple one: Password protected User Accounts. If you MUST create a Guest account, you can strictly limit its access and functions.
Personally, I'm not that hospitable. Here's a list of Users permitted access to ALL of my computers:
1. me
- end of list
Lock it, nub.
Yep, require password at wake from sleep.
This reminds me of the time when I brought my brand new Eee PC into the office. A coworker plucked it up from under my nose *as I was typing a command*...
If you put your diary on the bookshelf in the living room, don't be shocked to find your guests at your next cocktail party sharing tidbits from it. Same exact principle.
I think for more "connected" people like us, a computer is something more personal, like a workdesk, and it can be annoying if someone starts riffling through it.
BUT, for most other people, a computer is an appliance.
They really don't see computers as any different from a Television or a toaster.
Is it rude to sit down on someone's couch and turn the tv on?
There computers may have a few scattered word documents, some music in itunes, and perhaps their bookmarks, that's it.
Computers aren't important to them, so they will think you're being a jerk if you try to tell them not to do that.
You are totally not on your own!
But for me, it's not about the pr0n fear, it's all about the touching. Once wmy flatmate had a friend come to stay for a couple of weeks - no problem, I get on well with him.
But then, then, he goes and grabs my brand new macBook and starts pawing it at with his (literally) greasy fingers.
THE SMEARS! They haunt me to this very day.
I also freak out if someone sets their water glass down too close to my computer.
But really, I don't think that I personally know of anyone who wouldn't first ask to use another person's laptop/computer, even if just to make sure that the owner wasn't just about to use it him- or herself.
The situation sounds somewhat bizarre.
@36 I actually find it incredibly rude when a guest comes over and turns on the television. Not necessarily if that guest is actually staying over for several days, but a visiting friend? Nope, not unless we have a date to watch a show.
I freak when anybody (with rare exceptions) uses my laptop, regardless of whether they have asked my permission.
I actually locked the owner of my company out of our only computer, when he decided to do me a 'favour' and deleted MY ENTIRE INBOX!!! What an ass.
Mind you, I am incredibly neurotic in general; most people know this, and don't even ask to borrow my toys.
Get over it and then create a limited-access guest account that can't access your personal files, folders, etc. This ain't rocket science, kids.
Echo the guest account sentiments. I have guest accounts set up on my MacBook and my Mac Pro, and my friends know that they're always welcome to use them. For me, it's not about finding my pr0n, which sounds more like a party than a disaster, but it's about little things - changing my (especially browser) window sizes, saving junk onto my desktop without telling me, accidentally adding things to my dock... When I was at school, I left the MacBook in the living room and the (mostly regular) guests knew that it was theirs to use so long as they didn't haphazardly perch it on the armrest or eat greasy cheese curls while smearing away at my trackpad... and keep the sodas at a distance too, please! We all got on quite well.
You're not alone, but I do have one recommendation for a solution : if you have room in your place, get something like an eMac or similar (think cheap) and designate that as The Public Terminal. If someone needs to do something on a computer and they didn't bring their own, they go to The Public Terminal and do it there. If they need more computrons than that one would provide, they can bring their own machine.
Sometimes, I've used whatever kinda-sorta HTPC I had cobbled together as the public-access machine for the house, but this does mean that people can't watch TV or whatever while Joe Schmoe is checking his email. OTOH, if he's looking for something to show you on YouTube, that might make things easier. Your call.
My personal laptop has been affectionately called "the family computer" by my frequent house guests.
I've given up caring about that to focus on their inability to refill the Brita pitcher.
I bought my partner a new laptop last Xmas so he could leave his old one at my home to use. That way he has his own machine to use instead of pushing me out of the way when he wants to surf. From time to time, tho, he does use mine and it drives me crazy to find a full-sized 1600x1200 browser screen open.
Worse yet, many moons ago, when I was playing Quake 2, a friend decides to sit down and play my game without asking and promptly got killed. Needless to say, I was none too impressed at having to start over from the last save.
Isketerol
I agree that I no longer let my friends have access to My computer. My friends believe they are OS and security experts and would make unauthorized changes to my computer which would leave me with trying to figure out what they had done and how to undo it. I now have a guest computer in the kitchen that has no personal or important data on it. My guests are free to muck with as they see fit. If they do something bad to it, it can be easily reformatted and nothing is lost. Keeps everybody happy and connected.
Best part is my friends still respect me, even after I kicked them off my Personal computer.
Years before I had my notebook computer, I had my "notebook" a la "Harriet the Spy" and no one could touch that, of course.
In many ways, my computer in my 30's has become a much higher tech version of what my notebook was to me as a child and in my teens.
(and a hell of a lot more useful, too.)
I don't even like people looking at my computer screen over my shoulder while I'm "driving." I'm glad I'm not the only one.
Its wrong. Its grounds for introduction of electric current to sensitive body parts.
Enable the Guest account in OSX. System Preferences -> Accounts.
Enable password lockout for your screensaver, and add the lock menuitem from within the preferences of Keychain Access.app.
Basically, if you're anything like me, you're worried about people fucking up your files and your open browser windows, and losing data is like brain damage (since it's just externalization of memory).
So don't let other people make you a retard; give them their own sandbox to play in.
Wow did I have a bad experience along these same lines.
Watching some the fantastically preachy 'Life on Earth' with the girlfriend in bed on my latpop. I run out for a while to the move my car. I had just happily configured with IMAP gmail that goes back YEARS! She looks at my old emails, ALL OF THEM. Lets just say that I didn't erase some particulary riques ones from previous relationships. I don't think our brains are configured to handle that kind of tramuatic shock.
Needless to say we are now taking a 'break'. I am waaay over being an early adopter of IMAP, even changed my country code from UK to USA just to pick it up quicker. A repository of all my emails on my computer and I don't even need to be connected to the internet! Wow what a great idea!
Also if anyone has any ideas how I can salvage the relationship please let me know.