BBG Presents Low-Altitude Attack Zeppelin
Welcome to Low-Altitude Attack Zeppelin, the first in our series of exciting futile games. Click the game and press space to start. Use the arrow keys to move, and press space to fire the machine gun—of your Low-Altitude Attack Zeppelin!
Vote for the next game! Tell us which one you, the hero, will bring to the futile conclusion implied by its own absurd premise!
• Pedal Prop-Cycle Plunge
• Orbital Space Combat
• In the Trenches
• Realistic Shinobi
• Mortgage Securities Trader
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I feel like I should get a point for blowing up that first tank.
I was robbed!!!
We do not reward failure.
Fun game, the end was a little contrived though
If y'all don't reward failure, then I guess Mortgagae Securities Trader is out.
Classic retro styled torture device in an 8 bit medium.
Outstanding!!
I played 12 times before asking for more quarters to spend. There goes my lunch money, as usual.
ahahahahahahahha
Ice Warriors on the Planet of Fire
I have had dialysis treatments more fun than this.
If winners don't use drugs, I can't possibly see how you expect any of your users to win.
Oh. Now its all clear to me.
Oh! the....
This has potential.
You know someone is going to hack this open and expand it.
Hmmmm I might if I get really really really bored
Because it needs more cupcake hats.
Holy God I want to play Realistic Shinobi! It's exactly the premise of a movie I have long wanted to make.
More please, this is great.
@#11 -- Any competent programmer would vomit on their computer when they saw my dreadful code, rendering expansion impossible.
@#2 Wow, Balance of Power reference. Mad respect.
Realistic Shinobi my body
[gentle sobbing]
In the trenches! Oh please make in the trenches! It would be the best most realistic word war 1 sim ever! Whsitle blows machines guns fire you and your towns young men all die.
I feel like a winner for blowing up both tanks, but I have no gaming skills, so this is about equal with any other video game I may play.
This reminds me of the games I used to create in middle school with Game Creator. I vote for Orbital Space Combat next (I ♥ gravity wells).
...You know, if this was an arcade game, I'd be demanding my quarter back.
Oh, so it's like Super Kingio Bros., but with tanks instead of Goombas.
But you don't realize the carnage those two tanks would have gone on wreak if I'd allowed them to proceed off the left side of the screen.
My sacrifice was not in vain. I WILL be remembered!
Your next futile game: Making it through "Eraserhead" without loosing your soul.
Naked Lunch: The Videogame
Apparently, my attempts at ramming the tanks with the attack zeppelin are useless...
When are you going to release the widescreen version?
I don't know. Can anything be more futile than Spore turned out to be?
OH THE HUMANITY! THE HUMANITY!
No matter what I try I can't get past level twelve...
Realistic Shinobi!
Oh my, get out of the way please!
I need a "Burn the Rope" chaser after that game.
(and I totally agree with "In the Trenches". People complaining about too many WWII games need to suck it up and have a game from a WW that was way worse)
My god thats appalling. Mind you, I have played some five or six times now in the hope that I might just be able to get that last plane. It seems to go lower than the rest. Maybe if I push the up arrow *really hard*....
Realistic Shinobi!!!
I laughed like a maniac. It's the music that makes it art.
@35, we were tempted to make it one of those games where if you get everything *pixel perfect,* you can actually stay alive through numerous waves until a final slam dunk death (a guy with a sniper rifle, or some such).
Ah, for time.
Ohmigod. I laughed so hard. I'm still laughing. That was awesome. In the 80's, most arcade games offered this same (futile) game experience, but to do it on purpose was brilliant.
It highlights both the ridiculousness of those games, and of ourselves as game players. I would play the games over and over, I was an arcade game junky. I knew Low-Altitude Attack Zeppelin was futile (the intro text was a good tip off) but I still played it at least 10 times, just to see if there was any way past. It felt just like my arcade experience as a kid!
Mortgage Securities Trader
w/ some brief nudity
Cheat codes?
None -- I'll make it clear you cannot get past the planes. The last one doesn't dip low enough, but it always can hit you. Death at its hands it hard coded.
It is futile.
In the immortal words of my 10 yr old nephew, "This game sucks, you can't winnnnnnnnn!!!"
Oh, God, that was spectacular. Haha.
I vote for Realistic Shinobi!
Hilarious game, guys.
I will vote for Mortgage Securities Trader to be the next one.
Very nice! I'd like to see Realistic Shinobi.
Perhaps the closest we've ever come to it was Bushido Blade.
Or maybe Kung Fu Master.
game idea: Journey to the Center of the Earth (with realistic pressure)