BBG Presents Low-Altitude Attack Zeppelin

Welcome to Low-Altitude Attack Zeppelin, the first in our series of exciting futile games. Click the game and press space to start. Use the arrow keys to move, and press space to fire the machine gun–of your Low-Altitude Attack Zeppelin!

Vote for the next game! Tell us which one you, the hero, will bring to the futile conclusion implied by its own absurd premise!

• Pedal Prop-Cycle Plunge

• Orbital Space Combat

• In the Trenches

• Realistic Shinobi

• Mortgage Securities Trader

About Rob Beschizza

Rob Beschizza is the Managing Editor of Boing Boing. He's @beschizza on Twitter and can be found on Facebook too. Try your luck at besc...@gmail.com

 

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47 Responses to BBG Presents Low-Altitude Attack Zeppelin

  1. casio282 says:

    @#2 Wow, Balance of Power reference. Mad respect.

  2. FoetusNail says:

    In the immortal words of my 10 yr old nephew, “This game sucks, you can’t winnnnnnnnn!!!”

  3. Anonymous says:

    Realistic Shinobi my body

  4. dculberson says:

    [gentle sobbing]

  5. Anonymous says:

    In the trenches! Oh please make in the trenches! It would be the best most realistic word war 1 sim ever! Whsitle blows machines guns fire you and your towns young men all die.

  6. Lotion For Pistol says:

    Very nice! I’d like to see Realistic Shinobi.
    Perhaps the closest we’ve ever come to it was Bushido Blade.
    Or maybe Kung Fu Master.

  7. gonzilla says:

    Mortgage Securities Trader
    w/ some brief nudity

  8. RedShirt77 says:

    I feel like I should get a point for blowing up that first tank.

    I was robbed!!!

  9. Rob Beschizza says:

    We do not reward failure.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Oh, God, that was spectacular. Haha.

    I vote for Realistic Shinobi!

  11. pork musket says:

    Fun game, the end was a little contrived though

  12. DoktorH says:

    I feel like a winner for blowing up both tanks, but I have no gaming skills, so this is about equal with any other video game I may play.

  13. Enochrewt says:

    Realistic Shinobi!!!

  14. theraptscallion says:

    This reminds me of the games I used to create in middle school with Game Creator. I vote for Orbital Space Combat next (I ♥ gravity wells).

  15. OM says:

    …You know, if this was an arcade game, I’d be demanding my quarter back.

  16. Anonymous says:

    Oh, so it’s like Super Kingio Bros., but with tanks instead of Goombas.

  17. theMage says:

    Cheat codes?

  18. Chuck says:

    But you don’t realize the carnage those two tanks would have gone on wreak if I’d allowed them to proceed off the left side of the screen.

    My sacrifice was not in vain. I WILL be remembered!

  19. Gainclone says:

    Your next futile game: Making it through “Eraserhead” without loosing your soul.

  20. Alan says:

    If y’all don’t reward failure, then I guess Mortgagae Securities Trader is out.

  21. Daemon says:

    I don’t know. Can anything be more futile than Spore turned out to be?

  22. isaacd says:

    Classic retro styled torture device in an 8 bit medium.

    Outstanding!!

    I played 12 times before asking for more quarters to spend. There goes my lunch money, as usual.

  23. shutz says:

    Naked Lunch: The Videogame

  24. yer_maw says:

    ahahahahahahahha

  25. muteboy says:

    Ice Warriors on the Planet of Fire

  26. Zipster90 says:

    Hilarious game, guys.

    I will vote for Mortgage Securities Trader to be the next one.

  27. danilo says:

    I laughed like a maniac. It’s the music that makes it art.

  28. Anonymous says:

    I have had dialysis treatments more fun than this.

  29. Marley9 says:

    If winners don’t use drugs, I can’t possibly see how you expect any of your users to win.

    Oh. Now its all clear to me.

  30. Doctor What says:

    Apparently, my attempts at ramming the tanks with the attack zeppelin are useless…

  31. Nasty says:

    OH THE HUMANITY! THE HUMANITY!

  32. Scuba SM says:

    This has potential.

  33. Rob Beschizza says:

    None — I’ll make it clear you cannot get past the planes. The last one doesn’t dip low enough, but it always can hit you. Death at its hands it hard coded.

    It is futile.

  34. eustace says:

    No matter what I try I can’t get past level twelve…

  35. the_boy says:

    I need a “Burn the Rope” chaser after that game.

    (and I totally agree with “In the Trenches”. People complaining about too many WWII games need to suck it up and have a game from a WW that was way worse)

  36. Rob Beschizza says:

    @35, we were tempted to make it one of those games where if you get everything *pixel perfect,* you can actually stay alive through numerous waves until a final slam dunk death (a guy with a sniper rifle, or some such).

    Ah, for time.

  37. alowishus says:

    When are you going to release the widescreen version?

  38. Zarniwoop says:

    Realistic Shinobi!

  39. yasth says:

    You know someone is going to hack this open and expand it.

    Hmmmm I might if I get really really really bored

    Because it needs more cupcake hats.

  40. Jugglepunk says:

    My god thats appalling. Mind you, I have played some five or six times now in the hope that I might just be able to get that last plane. It seems to go lower than the rest. Maybe if I push the up arrow *really hard*….

  41. Anonymous says:

    Ohmigod. I laughed so hard. I’m still laughing. That was awesome. In the 80’s, most arcade games offered this same (futile) game experience, but to do it on purpose was brilliant.

    It highlights both the ridiculousness of those games, and of ourselves as game players. I would play the games over and over, I was an arcade game junky. I knew Low-Altitude Attack Zeppelin was futile (the intro text was a good tip off) but I still played it at least 10 times, just to see if there was any way past. It felt just like my arcade experience as a kid!

  42. ElijahPDX says:

    Holy God I want to play Realistic Shinobi! It’s exactly the premise of a movie I have long wanted to make.

  43. The Lizardman says:

    More please, this is great.

  44. p96 says:

    game idea: Journey to the Center of the Earth (with realistic pressure)

  45. strider_mt2k says:

    Oh my, get out of the way please!

  46. Rob Beschizza says:

    @#11 — Any competent programmer would vomit on their computer when they saw my dreadful code, rendering expansion impossible.

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