Gamers aren’t always the picture of health. I know: I’m stereotyping. But I’ve also spent countless evenings at LAN parties or over at friends’ playing Rock Band cramming my face with corn chips and pizza bound together with liquid mountain sunshine. Gaming doesn’t exactly lend itself to a healthful, sit-down eating experience.
Hence, snack food, of which our culture is happy to provide in increasingly convenient form as we shamble toward our destiny: implanted Cheetos-brand Snack Glands.
Until then, Biosilo would like to cater to a very specific niche with its Gamer Grub snacks: gamers who have enough disposable cash to buy specialized mail-order snack food but are too lazy to just run down to the corner and buy some chips.
But Gamer Grub isn’t just empty calories! Each of the four flavors include Vitamins A, E, B3, C, Magnesium, Choline, and L-Glutamic acid, the better to keep the brain sharp — in theory.
My guess is that the sugar will help more than anything. If it has sugar, that is. I’m having a hard time actually figuring out what this food is supposed to be, as the four flavors — Action Pizza, Racing Wasabi, Sports PB&J and Strategy Chocolate — all imply, to me, a different type of snack. My tongue is seizing when imagining a dire substrate that can support both chocolate or pizza.
Gamer Grub isn’t on sale yet, but expect to see it languishing on shelves by 2009. I find their entire marketing notion to be insulting, but I’ll give them the same advice my theoretical time-travelling self told Bawls before they launched their soda for gamers: make it delicious — and make it full of drugs.
Gamer Grub product page [GamerGrub.com]