Power On Self Test: Nail files and engines should never meet

Posted by Joel Johnson, October 7, 2008 5:25 AM | permalink

From this epic thread detailing a Spanish "mechanic" and his attempt to tune, paint, and customize an old Mitsubishi Eclipse. Amazing zero-to-cringe times. Those claw marks on the cylinders are hand-filed. That's bad. (Thanks, Mike!)

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Discussion

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#1 posted by pork musket , October 7, 2008 7:12 AM

Wow... what an idiot. At least he only ruined a cheap DSM head.

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#2 posted by technogeek , October 7, 2008 7:51 AM

On behalf of the other old farts in your audience... Could we avoid the smaller type sizes?

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#3 posted by Anonymous , October 7, 2008 8:53 AM

There has been quite a bit of amateur research into head grooving, also known as "quench slots", "burn slots", "flame channels", etc. There are a number of extensive discussions about it at Speedtalk: http://speedtalk.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1396 and http://speedtalk.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5907 in particular.

The ones in this post are clearly terribly done, but it's not an entirely meritless concept.

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#4 posted by Anonymous , October 7, 2008 9:13 AM

I wonder if he was trying to do what this guy did: http://www.popsci.com/cars/article/2004-09/obsession-mr-singhs-search-holy-grail

That was 4 years ago and I haven't heard anything about the "invention" since, so I'm assuming it's ended up in the same junk pile as vortex air intakes and Brown's gas jars.

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#5 posted by Duffong , October 7, 2008 10:11 AM

Ha! I read about this on VWVortex and lmao. Very fun read for just about anyone.

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#6 posted by geekpdx

, October 7, 2008 11:51 AM

You know, I've been searching for a way to get metal shavings into my valves while reducing or disappearing my compression ratio and looking like the prime minister of bozos all at the same time.

Looks like I've been beaten to the punch.

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#7 posted by pork musket , October 7, 2008 12:01 PM

I like the part where he put a GT-35r on it (that's a big turbo) and then ran a 16 second quarter mile.

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#8 posted by Anonymous , October 7, 2008 7:17 PM

Actually, those are the valves, not the piston cylinders themselves.

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#9 posted by CANTFIGHTTHEDITE , October 8, 2008 5:48 PM

Those are Speed Grooves. They make the car go faster.

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#10 posted by OLAF9000 , October 9, 2008 8:21 PM