All Infomercian citizens, please be advised: there is a general recall in effect of August 13th’s Compulsory Woot!, the Puncture-Proof Pegasus Pleasure Plate. MiniMac’s latest consumer studies suggest that the Puncture-Proof Pleasure Plate’s structural resilience is 0.02 points past Planned Obsolescence Optimal (or P.O.O.), unnecessarily retarding the Upgrade Cycle.
Do not panic. Keep buying. If you so choose, your Infomercian Pegasus Rebates will be refunded to you down at Central Refund Processing, minus a modest processing fee, the near-total Konsum tax, and — of course — VAT.
But between you and me, why demand a refund and risk the Noontime Consumer Cull? Word within MiniMac is that a major upgrade to Puncture-Proof Pegasus Plates will be announced in this Sunday’s MiniLust circulars.
The price is still TBD, but you will want to save your rainbow bucks for a complete set of these babies: this time, they’re inflatable!
Foil Balloon Inspired Fruit Bowl [Freshome]